Kinniku Roxanne
by LucretiaDecoy
Summary: After the events of "The Reason", Roxanne and Kid prepare for their big wedding day - but from the very start of the celebrations, it is clear something is amiss... (Sequel to "The Reason" and prequel to "Power Struggle".)
1. The Stag Night

**A/N:** We Brits have a tradition known as "stag night" and "hen night", and I'm not entirely sure how many other parts of the world use these names. For the benefit of anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about, these are just names for the single-sex parties held by the bride-to-be and groom-to-be the night before their wedding.

Okay, so just to quickly recap: King Muscle eventually did agree to Kid and Roxanne's marriage, and, a few months on from the end of the Chojin Crown (and indeed the end of my last fic _The Reason_ ) the wedding is finally about to take place. Timescales will be given, but just to clarify, in my universe, the Chojin Crown Tournament happened in early summer time (June/July) and this fic takes place near the end of October of the same year.

Yes, to those of you who are familiar with the UM manga, I did totally rip it off with the whole King Game thing, particularly the scene with Kid and Wally. What can I say? Not an original thought in my head!

And now, without any further ado…

* * *

 **Chapter 1 – The Stag Night**

"Hi, everybody!" Jaeger said cheerfully as he burst through the door of Kid's hut in Beverly Park.

"Dang Jaeger, it's about time you got back here!" Terry said, frowning at Jaeger, who was still standing in the doorway, his arms open at his sides and a grin consuming half of his face.

"Did you get the DVDs?" Kid asked from his position slouched on a beanbag on the floor.

"Of course!" Jaeger replied, taking a step forwards and allowing the door to bang shut behind him. "But most of ze DVDs I vent for had gone already."

The others looked around each other nervously.

"So what did you get?" Terry eventually asked.

" _Svedish Lesbians in Blackcurrant Jam_ and _Big Jugs_ ," Jaeger plainly replied.

"You only got two pornos?" Kid echoed, sitting up in alarm.

"We could always watch 'em twice," Wally suggested.

"Some stag night this is turning out to be," Dik Dik groaned, lying back into his beanbag.

"And I guess cause you're a stag yerself you had a big party the night before your weddin', huh?" Terry drawled, eying Dik Dik over.

"Hey guys, look on the bright side!" Kid offered.

"The bright side?" Checkmate asked, trying his best to look less than bored.

"I got rid of Meat for the whole night!" Kid replied.

Terry, Wally, Checkmate, Dik Dik and Jaeger sweatdropped as they watched Kid perform a ridiculous dance of joy on his beanbag.

"This party sucks," Wally groaned.

"Hey!" Kid snapped, halting his dance to scowl at Wally.

"Let's vatch a DVD!" Jaeger suggested, shaking his backpack at the others in an attempt to ease the mounting tension.

"Yeah, best put 'em on now," Terry agreed. "We sure need somethin' to spice this here party up a little."

Kid stuck his tongue out at Terry, but Terry failed to notice his childish response. Jaeger proceeded to remove two DVD boxes from his backpack, grinning at the others as he started towards the television. As Jaeger began to kneel down in front of the DVD player, something crashed through the door of the hut. Jaeger, along with the other five Chojins, leapt to his feet, staring at the black boot protruding through the closed door.

"Hey, I just got that fixed!" Kid protested, kicking at a shard of wood on the floor.

"I remember that, you farted so hard the door blew right across the park and smacked a kid off his bike," Dik Dik mused.

"That's right!" Kid agreed.

"When's your court date?" Wally asked.

"Next month," Kid replied.

"Good luck," Checkmate whispered.

"Thanks," Kid said.

"Hey, assholes!" a voice shouted into the hut.

"Oh God, not them…" Dik Dik groaned.

The boot pulled back, and the door of the hut fell inwards, revealing two figures dressed in black.

"We heard yous was havin' a party without invitin' us," Mars said, taking a step into the hut. "Dat just ain't cool."

"Well, look on the bright side, Mars," Kevin Mask said, stepping in next to him. "It looks like a pretty crap party to me."

"We were gonna watch porn!" Kid shouted, waving a fist at the two intruders.

Mars turned to Kid, tilting his head in mock interest.

"Oh really?" he asked.

"Probably just some aerobic videos, or something equally as dull and childish," Kevin whispered to Mars.

"No!" Kid sneered. "We were gonna watch some good old-fashioned porn!"

"Yeah!" Terry agreed.

"Ja, I just got back from ze rental store!" Jaeger added.

Mars began to laugh, drawing frowns from all the others, including Kevin; whose frown could not really be seen, given that he was, as always, wearing his trusty mask.

"You let a dude who can't even read English choose your DVDs?" Mars asked Kid.

"Jaeger can read English!" Kid argued.

"Ja, zhat's right! I learnt from my fazher, Herr Brocken!" Jaeger said. "And look, I got our favourite DVDs! My own favourite, _Svedish Lesbians in Blackcurrant Jam_ –"

"Hey Kev, check it out!" Mars interrupted Jaeger, snatching the DVD from him. "Now dis looks like some seriously erotic stuff right here! _Swedish Legends in Blackcurrant Jam_! A documentary about blackcurrant jam manufacturin' in Sweden!"

Kevin laughed unashamedly, but the others paled, turning to Jaeger.

"Lemme see that!" Kid snapped, snatching the DVD back from Mars.

As Kid studied the DVD, the others peered over his shoulders, each groaning in turn as they saw that Mars was indeed correct.

"How in the heck could you muddle up the word "legend" with the word "lesbian", Jaeger?" Terry moaned.

"It's okay!" Jaeger assured him. "I got us _Big Jugs_!"

"Alright, check this one out, Mars!" Kevin said loudly, snatching the DVD from Jaeger. " _Big Jugs_! A history of pottery in the nineteenth century!"

Mars grabbed his ribs and laughed loudly.

"Please tell me you guys are just trying to be funny?" Dik Dik asked Kevin, his eyes wide with concern.

"Take a look for yourself, Bambi," Kevin replied, handing the DVD to Dik Dik.

"Good God, he's right!" Dik Dik groaned, dropping the DVD.

Kid caught the DVD as it fell, scanning over it quickly before turning to scowl angrily at Jaeger.

"I'm sorry!" Jaeger wailed.

"And dey said dis was a party…" Mars scoffed.

"This lot wouldn't know a party if one jumped up and bit them in the arse," Kevin replied.

"Oh and I suppose you guys know how to party?" Kid sneered.

Mars turned to Kevin, smirking slyly.

"Did I just hear a disguised cry for help, Kev?" Mars asked.

"Why I do believe you did, Mars!" Kevin agreed.

Mars and Kevin took another step towards the other six Chojins, who stared up at them with wide eyes filled with fascination and apprehension.

"You see, our motto is: why watch pornographic movies, when you could be making your own?" Kevin said slyly.

"Make our own porn?" Kid echoed in disbelief. "But how?"

"Wid dese," Mars growled, reaching a hand into the inside pocket of his coat.

The others gasped as he pulled out a handful of something.

"Chopsticks?" Kid said. "But how can we make a porno with chopsticks?"

"Where do we gotta put 'em?" Terry asked suspiciously. "Cause I ain't one for no funny business!"

"We don't put them anywhere, you fool," Kevin retorted, plucking one chopstick from the bundle in Mars's hand. "We just pick one, like so."

"I don't get it," Kid confessed.

"It's a little game dey play in Japan," Mars explained. "It's called da King Game."

"All we need to play are some women," Kevin added.

"But the girls all went to Roxanne's house!" Terry pointed out.

"We wasn't talkin' about da girls," Mars replied.

"We were talking about a more specific group of women," Kevin added. "And since there are eight of us here, it would only be fair if we found ourselves eight women."

"And den we can get started," Mars said.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Dik Dik said slowly, shaking his head.

* * *

"I've got a very bad feeling about this," Dik Dik groaned, squinting up at the pink neon sign hanging on the building before him.

"What, you ain't never heard of Da Palace before?" Mars asked him, eying him over in disbelief.

"Well of course I've heard of The Palace, everyone's heard of The Palace," Dik Dik replied. "It's just that most of us honest, hard-working, clean-living citizens have never actually been to The Palace."

"Honest?" Mars echoed, slowly folding his arms and narrowing his eyes at Dik Dik.

"I'm mostly honest!" Dik Dik protested.

"Hard-workin'?" Mars asked, nodding his head in the direction of Kid Muscle.

"Well…" Dik Dik said awkwardly, as he watched Kid hitch a ride on knight-form Checkmate's back.

"Clean-livin'?" Mars pressed, pointing a finger in the direction of Wally Tusket.

"Heh!" Dik Dik yelped, as he sighted Wally munching on a fish the size of his hand that looked as though it was something Wally had just found in his back pocket after weeks of looking for it.

"Ya finished bitchin'?" Mars asked Dik Dik.

"I guess so," Dik Dik conceded, following the others as they filtered through the doors of the hotel.

Mars joined onto the end of the line, pausing in the doorway as he suddenly realised that there were only six men ahead of him. Mars turned his head to look over his shoulder, frowning to himself as he saw that Kevin was standing in the middle of the road directly behind him, his hands on his hips, looking up at the neon sign above them. As he watched Kevin, Mars could have sworn he saw the distinct rise and fall of Kevin's chest, indicating a sigh; but before he could clarify his suspicions, Kevin lowered his head, facing Mars.

"It's been a long time," Kevin called over to him.

"Since what?" Mars asked dumbly.

"Since I came to this place," Kevin replied, raising one hand up in the direction of the neon sign.

Mars smiled a little as he saw the reflection of the pink neon flicker on Kevin's mask, a feeble buzzing sound above his head informing him that the sign was once more fading.

"You ain't been since you went wid me?" Mars asked.

"No," Kevin replied. "Not since then."

"You're not gonna get all nostalgic on me now, are ya Kev?" Mars joked.

Mars's smile dropped as he saw Kevin's chest rise and fall again, this time the faint sound of a sigh reaching his ears, eradicating any doubt he had held in his mind on the matter.

"Kev, are you okay?" Mars asked, stepping out of the doorway and releasing the door.

"Fine," Kevin lied as the door shut behind Mars. "We should really get going, that lot can't be trusted in there without any adult supervision, you know!"

Kevin walked up to the door with a spring in his step, but Mars was less than convinced by his suddenly jovial manner.

"What's goin' on, Kev?" he asked quietly as Kevin joined him by the door.

"Nothing!" Kevin insisted. "I think perhaps just the tiresome thought of having to spend all day tomorrow travelling in a spaceship, only to then have to spend all of the next day on Muscle Planet at that idiot's wedding is getting me down."

"I see…" Mars slowly replied, nodding his head.

"Come along, I'm rather looking forward to this!" Kevin said, stepping past Mars and opening the door.

"Sure," Mars agreed, frowning at the back of Kevin's head as he followed him into the hotel.

Mars continued to study Kevin thoughtfully, but his thoughts were soon interrupted by the other Muscle Leaguers.

"Hey guys, check me out!" Kid called out from the reception desk. "I'm Mars!"

"Huh?" Mars grunted, narrowing his eyes menacingly as Kid snapped a branch off the plant by the reception desk and held it up behind his back.

The long, slender leaves of the branch Kid held poked out around his head and shoulders, making it look much like Mars's headdress. The others began to laugh, but quickly fell silent as Mars started to march towards Kid.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" a woman asked from behind the desk.

"Yes, you can!" Kevin said hurriedly, pushing aside the others to make his way up to the desk. "We need a room, and we're going to need room service. And lots of it!"

Mars pulled a face at Kevin, before walking up to the desk. The woman turned to Mars as he stopped next to Kevin, at which Mars smiled politely.

"We'd like a room wid eight ladies, please," Mars explained.

"Certainly, Sir," the woman agreed. "Will you be staying the night?"

"No," Mars began. "We gotta catch a flight to a weddin' tomorrow mornin', and it–"

"Yes," Kevin interrupted him. "We will be staying the night. And we'll need breakfast brought to our room too."

"Are you nuts?" Mars hissed, poking an elbow into Kevin's ribs.

"Ow!" Kevin protested, as Mars's elbow collided with the still tender scar he had been left with from his final round match with Mars in the Chojin Crown Tournament some three months earlier.

"We ain't got enough money for all dat room service, or to stay here all night!" Mars added.

"I'll pay for it," Kevin plainly replied.

"What, you're gonna pay for all eight of us?"

"Yes."

Mars leaned back from Kevin, glaring at him as though his friend had just snapped into the realm of insanity; but Kevin was already pushing a credit card towards the receptionist to back up his claims.

"Kevin's paying?" Kid asked, peering around Kevin's back at his credit card. "Sweet!"

"I guess some folks gotta resort to buyin' friends, since there ain't no other way they can get 'em…" Terry mumbled.

Dik Dik, Wally, Checkmate and Jaeger all quietly nodded their agreement with Terry's sentiment, but Mars merely grew more sceptical. He turned back to Kevin, opening his mouth to voice his concerns again, but was stopped as Kevin finished paying for his transaction, and an overly excited Kid Muscle bounced around him, inadvertently standing the heel of one foot onto Mars's toes.

"Hey, watch it!" Mars snapped, shoving Kid to the ground.

Kevin looked down at Kid Muscle and then back up at Mars.

"You know sometimes I wonder about you, Mars," Kevin sighed. "You really don't know your own strength."

"Hey, I was just…"

Mars trailed off as he watched Kevin walk off down the corridor ahead of the others. Kid scrambled up to his feet and ran after Kevin, his arms raised in the above his head in glee. Mars watched as the other five Chojins followed Kevin and Kid along the corridor, before glancing down at the receptionist from the corner of his eye.

As he watched the young woman idly typing something into her computer, an idea slowly crept into his mind.

"Uh, excuse me," he said, leaning one arm onto the desk.

"Yes Sir?" she responded, turning to face him with a sweet smile.

"Do you got anybody workin' here called Emily?" Mars asked. "Tall skinny Irish girl, she has a face like a horse."

The woman smirked at Mars's description before composing herself to reply.

"We do have a lady by the name of Emily working here, but I wouldn't exactly describe her as having a face like a horse, Sir," she explained. "And she's not Irish, either. But I'm sure she could pretend to be if it pleases you."

Mars rolled his eyes, suppressing a sigh.

"No, I was just lookin' for dis girl dat I once knew," he said.

"We have quite a high turnover of staff here, Sir," the receptionist pointed out. "But remember that all our girls can be whoever and whatever you want them to be."

"Yeah, right," Mars sighed, straightening up. "Well, thanks anyway."

"You're welcome!"

Mars grumbled and muttered to himself, following after the others at his own pace. Something was definitely not right with Kevin Mask; and whatever it was, it seemed to have gotten worse since he had won the Chojin Crown. Although Mars was yet to pinpoint the cause of Kevin's change in behaviour and attitude, he was determined he would find out what it was.

* * *

"Okay, sticks everybody!" Mars shouted.

Mars screwed up his face as the group all threw their chopsticks back at him. At the start of the game, collecting in the sticks had been an easy task; but since Kid Muscle, Terry Kenyon, Checkmate, Dik Dik Van Dik and Jaeger were not accustomed to drinking alcohol, the few drinks they had since had left them with drastically decreased powers of manual dexterity. Thankfully, the eight women The Palace had supplied, along with Wally Tusket, Kevin Mask and Mars himself, were more able to maintain a degree of stability and sensibility under the influence of alcohol, and so the party was not turning into a complete disaster just yet.

"Okay, dis time guys, let's try an' play properly, yeah?" Mars said as he gathered in the sticks.

"Ve vere playing properly!" Jaeger argued, thumping a fist down onto the table with the excessive force of a superhuman wrestler who had consumed too much alcohol.

"Right…" Mars sighed, watching as Jaeger's glass toppled over, spilling the remains of his beer over the woman next to him, who screamed in alarm.

"Come on, come on!" Kid shouted impatiently. "I wanna be king, I wanna be king!"

Mars shifted his eyes to Kevin, expecting his friend to offer some degree of sympathy for the agony Mars felt suffering the immaturity of the Kinniku prince; but Kevin was no longer in his seat. Mars started in alarm, dropping some of the chopsticks as he began scanning the room for Kevin.

"Get on with it, man!" Dik Dik ordered.

"Where's Kevin?" Mars asked, still looking around for his friend.

"He went down to the kitchen," Wally replied.

"He did what?" Mars echoed, locking his eyes onto the one other sober man at the table.

"He said the room service was taking too long," Wally explained. "He went down to the kitchen to check on it."

"No, he went down to the kitchen cause he wanted to ask the chef somethin'," Terry argued.

"No, Kevin Mask went down to the kitchen to acquire some extra cutlery!" Checkmate argued.

"No, Kevin vent down to ze kitchen to get some more ice for ze champagne!" Jaeger argued.

"I thought he said he was going down to the kitchen to get more sandwiches?" Dik Dik asked, frowning at the others.

"He went down to the kitchen to talk to some girl called Amy, now can we please get on with the game already!" Kid yelled. "Come on! Let's have another go while Kevin's gone! The odds are better this way! Eight girls to seven guys!"

"Amy?" Mars echoed, narrowing his eyes. "He went to see Amy?"

"That's what I said!" Kid sang sarcastically.

"In da kitchen?" Mars asked.

"Yeah!" Kid snapped.

"Amy in da kitchen of dis place?" Mars said thoughtfully. "Who da hell is Amy?"

"Well I dunno," Kid muttered, shrugging his shoulders.

Mars looked around the table as everyone shook their heads or shrugged their shoulders to confirm that none of them knew who Amy was.

"And besides, who cares?" Kid added. "Deal the sticks already, scarface!"

"Hey, watch it!" Mars warned him. "Okay, I'ma take out number fifteen, since Kev ain't here."

Mars removed the stick with the number fifteen on it, before shuffling them around again and then holding his hand out towards the middle of the table.

"Pick a stick," he said.

The others all leaned forwards to select a stick, each checking the marking on the top of their choice to see what it said.

"Who's king?" Kid asked loudly. "Cause it's not me! Again!"

"It's me!" Terry cheered.

"And what does the king want?" Dik Dik asked Terry.

"The king wants…" Terry began, looking around the table deviously. "The king wants number seven to kiss him on the mouth for five seconds!"

"Ooh!" Kid squealed. "Who's got number seven?"

"Me!" one of the women said, raising one hand in the air.

"No way!" Kid gasped.

Terry grinned smugly at Kid as the woman stood up and walked around the table to where Terry sat. The woman sitting between Terry and Dik Dik stood up from her seat to allow the woman with chopstick number seven to sit next to Terry. Kid, Wally, Jaeger, Checkmate and Dik Dik all leaned towards Terry, watching in awe as he kissed the woman on the lips. Kid began to count loudly to five, drawing a look of disgust from Mars.

"Okay, okay, sticks everybody!" Kid yelled once Terry had finished.

As the women returned to their seats, Mars was once more subjected to a barrage of chopsticks flying towards his face.

"Hey!" he yelled in protest, shielding his head with one arm.

Once Mars had gathered all the sticks, he began to shuffle them, glancing across the table at the empty space where Kevin had been sitting earlier.

"What's takin' Kev so long?" he asked anyone who cared to listen.

"Who cares?" Kid squealed. "This way, there's more girls per guy, remember? So shut-up and deal already!"

Jaeger let out a whoop of delight, leaping up to high-five Kid across the table. Mars plucked number fifteen from the bunch again, setting it aside and shuffling the sticks.

"You know what to do," he said dully, holding out his hand again.

Mars winced as his fellow Chojins all grabbed a stick each, leaving the women to carefully select the remaining sticks, leaving one for Mars.

"It's me!" Kid yelled, leaping up from his seat. "I'm the king! It's me! I'm the king, and now I get to have whatever I want!"

"Okay, so what does the king want?" Terry asked him.

"Good God I love this game!" Dik Dik sighed, resting his chin on his upturned palm.

"The king wants…" Kid began, looking around the table with wide, hungry eyes. "The king wants number three to kiss his ass for ten seconds!"

"What?" Mars yelped. "You want what?"

"Hey, the rules say that everyone has to do exactly what the king says!" Kid yelled at him. "And the king says that number three has to kiss my bare ass for ten seconds, okay?"

Mars quickly checked the number at the top of his chopstick, smirking in relief as he saw the number two.

"Okay," he agreed.

"So…" Kid said, smiling to himself. "Who's got number three?"

"Me."

Kid paused, looking around the women expectantly.

"Who?" he asked, his smile faltering.

"Me, Kid. I'm number three."

Kid turned to his right, his face paling beneath his mask as he saw Wally Tusket sitting with his hand in the air.

"What?" Kid wailed. "But I wanted one of the girls to kiss my ass!"

"Hey, da rules say dat everybody's gotta do exactly what da king says, remember?" Mars sneered at Kid.

"Fine!" Kid grumbled. "Get over here Wally!"

The others watched in perverse intrigue as Kid pulled down his pants and bent over the table.

"God forgive me," Wally muttered, before leaning forwards and kissing Kid's bared rear-end.

"Dear God, he's actually doing it!" Dik Dik gasped.

"Oh ma Lord!" Terry whispered, his eyes doubling in size.

"Your whiskers are tickling me!" Kid giggled, thumping a fist on the table as he tried to suppress his laughter.

"Ah man, dat does it!" Mars said, standing up abruptly. "Dis game is over!"

As Mars walked away from the table, Jaeger finally finished counting down from ten, and Wally leapt back from Kid, gasping in air as though he had just surfaced from a vat of water.

"The game's over?" Kid asked, standing up and dressing himself again. "So what are we gonna do now?"

"Let's play karaoke!" Jaeger yelled.

"Yeah!" Terry agreed.

"We don't have a karaoke machine in here," Dik Dik pointed out.

"Who cares?" Jaeger asked.

"Let's just sing any old crap!" Kid agreed.

Mars glanced over his shoulder as the eight women slowly rose from the table, one by one, each quietly exiting the room as the six remaining Chojins began attempting to sing the graduation song from the Hercules Factory, each singing their own rude, offensive version of the lyrics.

As the last woman left the room, Mars caught the door behind her, stepping out into the hallway and looking up and down for any sign of Kevin. When he failed to sight his old friend, Mars took one last look back into the room at his fellow Justice Chojins. Mars groaned, rolling his eyes as he caught sight of Kid and Jaeger crawling over the surface of the table towards each other, signing louder and more off-key with every passing second.

"Screw dis shit," he muttered, marching out of the room and down the hallway in the same direction the women had taken.

* * *

Kevin tapped the base of his half-empty bottle of beer against his mask, which lay open on the road at his feet. The street outside was dark and damp, and he could feel that the rainwater had already soaked through the seat of his jeans, but still he remained sat on the edge of the sidewalk, his legs spread out onto the road, slowly drinking his way through the trolley of beer he had helped himself to from The Palace.

Letting out another sigh, Kevin glanced back down the street at the hotel, forcing a smile as he looked at the building that brought back so many memories of his time in the DMP. Hanging his head again, Kevin let out yet another sigh as a small voice reminded him why he was sitting where he was: it was the exact same spot that a street urchin had tried to mug an angry upstart of a girl over four years ago; the exact same spot where Kevin had tried to help the girl, only to end up getting into a heated argument with her.

Kevin lifted his bottle to his lips, throwing back his head to finish off his drink.

"What cha doin', Kev?" Mars asked, appearing suddenly beside him.

Kevin dropped his bottle, squinting up at Mars's shadow looming over him.

"Stop being so vertical Mars, you silly git," Kevin drawled.

"Oh, it's like dat, huh?" Mars asked, laughing slightly as he lowered himself down onto the edge of the sidewalk next to Kevin.

Mars eyed over the trolley behind them, quickly tallying up the ratio of full to empty beer bottles.

"You drink all dose yourself, Kev?" he asked, turning to Kevin.

"What do you think, Marsh?" Kevin asked sarcastically, grabbing another full bottle from the trolley.

Mars watched in mild amusement as Kevin levered the cap off the bottle with the aid of the steel toe of his boot, before taking a swig from the bottle.

"Did you just call me Marsh?" Mars asked Kevin.

"No!" Kevin denied, scowling at Mars. "Don't be shtupid!"

"Shtupid?" Mars echoed, helping himself to a bottle of beer from the trolley.

"Oh, whatever!" Kevin muttered, before taking another drink from the bottle.

"So what's eatin' you, anyways?" Mars asked, before removing the cap from the bottle with his teeth.

"You," Kevin frankly replied. "And that girl."

"Who, Emily?" Mars asked.

"Emily?" Kevin echoed. "Who the bloody hell is Emily?"

"I dunno," Mars replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Anyway, that girl Kiki," Kevin continued, trying his best to sound sober and coherent. "She never talks, she just screams a lot. And it hurts my ears."

"Well, y'know, bein' wid a guy like me is pretty excitin' for a girl–"

"I'm not talking about that! I'm talking about when I ask her a question, and she screams the answer back at me!"

"Well maybe you should come down da stairs before you ask her a question."

"Well maybe I don't want to!"

"Well if you don't, she has to keep screamin' at cha."

"Well she pisses me off, Mars!"

"You want us to move out?"

"I don't know!"

"Okay, calm down!"

Mars frowned at Kevin, placing down his bottle as he slowly removed his headdress, dropping it down onto the road next to Kevin's mask.

"Dat's not it, is it Kev?" he asked quietly, ruffling his hair with one hand as he retrieved his bottle with the other.

"What are you yapping on about now, you insane old twat?" Kevin grumbled, turning to face Mars.

"Well, dat ain't really what's botherin' you, is it?" Mars continued. "Dere's somethin' else. You've been actin' weird ever since you won da Chojin Crown."

"You think?" Kevin snorted.

"I know," Mars corrected him.

"Well maybe there is something bothering me, if you really must know."

"Are you gonna tell me what it is?"

"No."

Mars sighed loudly, tightening his grip on his bottle in frustration. He took a big gulp of beer, before inhaling sharply through his nostrils and turning his head towards Kevin.

"Not when you won," he began. "Before dat. But it got worse when you won. And it's been eatin' at you ever since."

"What would you know?" Kevin muttered.

"Before you fought me," Mars continued, undeterred by Kevin's rebuttal. "Before I fought fishface Kid Muscle…"

"Maybe," Kevin muttered into his bottle as he began to drink again.

"About da time of dat press conference we was at," Mars said, smiling to himself. "Dat "Love, Honour and Redemption" programme dey made us do! You've been actin' weird since dat day! It's because of dat book, isn't it?"

"Sort of," Kevin confessed, pushing another empty bottle onto the trolley and helping himself to a full one.

"You're not worryin' about Eddie, are ya?" Mars asked.

"Perhaps."

Mars slowly nodded his head as Kevin began to work his way through another bottle of beer.

"I still feel that I let my mother down, Mars," Kevin confessed. "I promised her so faithfully that I would look after Edward. I don't even know if the boy is still alive!"

As Kevin began drinking again, Mars took a quick, nervous swig of his own drink before replying.

"Well, on dat front, I guess I got some good news, and I got some bad news," he said slowly, avoiding Kevin's eyes as Kevin slowly put down his beer and turned to glower at Mars.

"Oh?" Kevin pressed.

"Well, da good news is, your brother is still alive," Mars continued. "At least, I think dat's good news."

"How do you know?" Kevin asked.

"Because I saw him."

"You saw him? When? Where?"

"Last week. Out back."

"Last week? Out back? What do you mean, "out back"?"

"I mean out back. He was snoopin' in da garbage behind da stables. I got myself a pitchfork an' chased him off."

"The garbage behind the stables? Edward was at the Mask Estate? Edward was at my estate? He was snooping around in my rubbish? Why didn't you tell me before now?"

"I didn't wanna worry you. He looked kinda skinny and desperate."

"He always looked skinny and desperate! He always was skinny and desperate, it was a way of life for him!"

"Yeah, dat's true, I guess."

"Okay, so if Edward still being alive is the good news you had to tell me, what's the bad news?"

"Da bad news?"

"Tell me Mars, or else I'll be very cross with you."

"Okay. Well da bad news is, Edward ain't a boy no more. I guess he was just a late developer. He's still real skinny, but he's about as tall as you now."

"That's not so bad!"

"I dunno."

Kevin slowly finished off his bottle of beer, placing it down and shuffling closer to Mars.

"What are you not telling me, Marsh?" he asked.

"You slurrin' your words again, Kev," Mars quickly pointed out.

"Are you hiding something from me?" Kevin asked suspiciously.

"Of course not! I mean, dose footprints could have been from a bear, right? You get bears in England, yeah?"

Kevin's face dropped, and Mars paled.

"No, we do not get bears in England," Kevin solemnly replied. "What footprints?"

"It's probably nothin', don't worry about it!" Mars insisted. "Have another beer, pal!"

Mars grabbed up another bottle of beer, holding it out towards Kevin.

"What footprints?" Kevin asked.

"Well, kinda like animal footprints," Mars casually replied, walking his index and middle fingers through the air as he spoke. "Along da garden."

"Big animal footprints?" Kevin asked.

"Yeah, dey was quite big," Mars agreed, moving the bottle closer to Kevin.

"How big, Mars?" Kevin asked.

"About da size of… Fargo's feet – say, did I tell you Wally Tusket just kissed Kid Muscle's ass?"

"Fargo?" Kevin said slowly.

"And den dey started singin', and den I noticed you was gone, Kev."

"Not Edward's friend Fargo?"

"I tell ya Kev, dose guys back dere can't party like you and me can. Do you remember all dose crazy times we had in da DMP?"

"I remember Fargo, he was a giant monster of a thing! Half-man half-tiger, wasn't he?"

"Say Kev, do you remember dat one time when we went to High Park Ladies' Club?"

"Fargo was… High Park Ladies' Club? I remember High Park Ladies' Club. That was where we met Amy."

"Amy, right."

Kevin slowly took the bottle of beer from Mars's hand, removing the cap with his boot.

"Do you remember dat crazy girl wid da fat ass we met dere?" Mars asked as Kevin began to slowly sip at his beer.

"Amy?" Kevin asked, almost choking on his drink in his hurry to respond.

"Her name was Amy?" Mars asked, frowning in confusion.

"Yesh, her name wash Amy MacLeod," Kevin replied, smiling to himself.

"You're slurrin' your words again, Kev."

"Amy… Amy didn't have a fat arse, Mars."

"Sure she did. She had a face like a horse, too. And she had much legs and arms goin' on everywhere."

"How could she have too much arms and legs? She had two arms and two legs, just like you and me and everyone else does."

"But dey was all long and skinny. And she was real moody, too."

"There was nothing wrong with her arse. Absolutely nothing at all."

"Yeah, you would say dat, you had da hots for her…"

"Do you know, she actually had a magnificent arse."

Mars paused, before breaking into a grin as he watched Kevin don a dreamy expression.

"I remember when I met her in there," Kevin continued, pointing back at The Palace hotel. "She was dressed like… Well, let's not beat about the bush here, she was dressed like a complete and utter slut, but by God she looked good enough to eat."

Mars snickered to himself, trying his best to contain his laughter as he noticed that Kevin's face was creasing with the seriousness of his words.

"She had the most beautiful neck," Kevin continued, his brows furrowing as he began to wave his hand around in the air in front of his face to emphasis his point. "I used to watch it when she spoke. I wanted to just sink my teeth into it."

Mars snorted, his laughter growing despite his best attempts to remain solemn for Kevin's benefit.

"And do you know, that night she was here," Kevin continued. "When she was, you know…"

"Dressed like a complete and utter slut?" Mars offered.

"Dressed like a complete and utter slut," Kevin confirmed. "I watched her walking, and I watched her arse."

Mars began to laugh out loud at Kevin, but Kevin appeared to be undeterred by Mars's amusement.

"And I just wanted to…" Kevin said weakly. "Wanted to…"

"Sink your teeth into her ass?" Mars asked through his laughter.

"Yesh," Kevin agreed, nodding his head. "I wanted to shink my teef into her arsh."

Mars threw his head back, laughing openly as Kevin, who simply continued to drink from his bottle of beer.

"Ah man, you're such a loser, Kev!" Mars said, wiping a tear from one eye. "You always make me laugh!"

"And she kissed me, you know," Kevin added.

"Yeah, I know, Kev," Mars replied. "I was dere, remember?"

"How could I forget? You're the bastard that made her stop!"

"Ah, she was no good for you anyways, Kev."

"But it was amazing. I hate you for making her stop."

"I'm sure you'll get over it."

"But it was amazing…"

"Kev, da woman belonged in a field wid Black Beauty, she can't have been dat good!"

"Oh but she was!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Oh yeah! How can I put this… She was hungry, and she liked the taste of my tonsils."

Mars threw his head back again, laughing out loud. His bottle of beer slipped from his hand, falling to the road with a clink, the contents fizzing and bubbling out by his feet.

"Hey, what's so funny over here?" Dik Dik Van Dik asked, dropping down onto his knees next to Mars.

"Go away, Bambi," Kevin grumbled.

"Vhy can I never get a girlfriend?" Jaeger wailed, throwing his arms around a nearby tree and sobbing into it.

"Sweet baby Jesus…" Kevin groaned.

"Hey, why did the party move out here without me?" Kid Muscle asked, staggering towards Mars and inadvertently tripping over Dik Dik's ankles.

Kevin looked over his shoulder as Kid fell to the ground behind him with a thud, apparently unaffected by the force of his fall.

"This party is crap," Kevin grumbled.

"I'll drink to dat!" Mars agreed, grabbing up two bottles of beer and tossing one to Kevin.

Mars and Kevin cracked open their bottles chinking them together before gulping from them as the other six suitably inebriated Chojins stumbled aimlessly around them.

* * *

"Ah, man!" Mars groaned, rolling over onto his elbows.

Mars slowly bent his knees up under himself, pushing his hands against the ground to lift himself up onto all fours.

"Hey Kev," he groaned as he sighted Kevin laying spread-eagled on his back on the sidewalk a short distance from where Mars had just awoken. "Kev, wake up!"

"Hu-whuh?" Kevin groaned, slapping a hand onto his forehead and screwing up his face as he began to rouse from his slumber.

"C'mon Kev, geddup," Mars insisted, swaying slightly before landing hard on one hip, facing Kevin.

Kevin slowly sat up, slouching over his legs.

"What time is it, Kev?" Mars asked, as he groggily rubbed the heel of one palm in one eye.

Kevin jerked up his left hand, frowning down at his digital watch. Mars squinted over at him, watching as Kevin poked the index finger of his right hand at the watch, muttering numbers under his breath. Kevin's long, sweeping blonde hair began to slip over his shoulders, falling over his face and obscuring it from Mars's view.

"Kev?" Mars asked. "Da time?"

"I've got it!" Kevin declared, tossing back his head, his hair flying back off his face.

"Well?" Mars pressed. "What time is it?"

"Friday," Kevin replied, smiling gormlessly at his friend.

"Is dat da best you can do? Friday? Ah, man!" Mars groaned, hanging his head.

"Three thirty!" Terry Kenyon called out, staggering along the street towards Mars and Kevin.

"Hey, my watch!" Kid moaned, crawling after him.

"Three thirty?" Kevin echoed. "But we only started playing the King Game at two o'clock!"

"And we've been asleep!" Mars added.

"Give me zhat!" Jaeger said, snatching the watch from Terry.

Jaeger smiled, nodding his head knowingly as he rotated the watch.

"It's not three thirty!" he declared. "It's qvarter to six!"

"Quarter to six?" Mars groaned. "Ah nuts! We gotta get off dis planet before eight, we don't got long!"

"Where are we going?" Dik Dik asked, scratching at his head between his antlers.

"To my wedding, you asshole!" Kid shouted at him.

"Shh!" Checkmate hissed at Kid.

Mars watched Jaeger for a moment, blinking blankly as he looked up at his former Hercules Factory classmate holding onto Kid's watch. Mars began to frown as he watched Jaeger turn the watch around and around, looking more and more confused with every turn.

"Gimme dat!" Mars snapped, scrambling to his feet and snatching the watch from Jaeger.

Blinking through his blurred vision, Mars turned the watch the correct way up, squinting down at it to read the time.

"Nine o'clock!" he yelped.

"What?" Kid screamed.

"It can't be nine o'clock!" Kevin denied, pushing himself up to an upright position. "Because the bells of the church ring every hour, and–"

Kevin instantly fell silent as the church bells began to chime. All eight Chojins gathered round Kid, looking up at the church steeple in anticipation as they each counted the numbers of tolls of the bells.

"I guess it is nine o'clock den," Mars said once the bells had stopped sounding.

"What am I gonna do?" Kid wailed. "I'm getting married at Muscleham Palace in just over twenty-four hours!"

"No sweat, Kid," Mars said confidently. "We just gotta run to da spaceship, and put da engines at full speed."

Jaeger stumbled over the edge of the sidewalk, staggering along the gutter before vomiting over Kevin's mask. The others all turned to Mars, eying him sceptically.

"Hey, don't worry about it!" he said, shrugging his shoulders. "When have I ever let you guys down, huh?"

"Don't answer that," Kevin warned as Dik Dik opened his mouth to protest.

* * *

 **Next Chapter:** While the boys were out partying to celebrate Kid's last night as a bachelor, how did the girls celebrate Roxanne's last night as Miss Nikaidou? **Chapter 2 – The Hen Night**.


	2. The Hen Night

**A/N: ** I did consider amalgamating this chapter with the previous one, and jumping back and forth between the boys and the girls as the night progressed, but it would have been unfair to do it that way, since there are far fewer girls and this chapter is shorter. Hopefully this way it doesn't lose any of its… Charm…

 **Recap:** Kid's Stag Party was gate-crashed by Kevin Mask and Mars who took the boys to The Palace and taught them how to play the King Game, the boys all got drunk and slept in, causing them to run late for the flight to Muscle Planet for Kid's wedding.

* * *

 **Chapter 2 – The Hen Night**

"If you so much as point that thing at me, I'll kill you Trixie!" Kiki warned, leaning back into the couch as Trixie crept towards her.

"What is that thing anyway, Trixie?" Roxanne asked nervously, eying the unusual instrument in Trixie's hand.

"I already told you!" Trixie sighed, rolling her eyes. "It's a laser hair-remover!"

"I've seen what those things can do!" Kiki quickly said. "They can scar you for life!"

"They can?" Roxanne gasped.

"No, of course not!" Trixie scoffed. "And besides, even if they did, I'm sure Marsy Baby wouldn't mind…"

Kiki screamed as Trixie leaned over her, pinning her against the back of the couch, brandishing her laser hair-remover by Kiki's face. Kiki stared at the vicious weapon in Trixie's hand, her eyes crossing to focus on it as it buzzed closer to her. Sweat began to burst out over Kiki's forehead as Trixie edged slowly closer, grinning maniacally; however Trixie's grin dropped from her face as the laser fell silent in her hand.

"Hey!' she protested, looking over her shoulder as Roxanne straightened up, swinging the plug for the device in one hand. "Aw, c'mon Roxanne, it's not like I was actually gonna do anything!"

"Scars may look sexy on men, but they just look nasty on women!" Roxanne said firmly. "And I don't want one bridesmaid with a scarred face and the other one with a black eye!"

Trixie turned to Kiki with wide eyes, starting as she saw that Kiki had clenched her fists by her sides.

"Wow Kiki, you've changed since you started seeing Mars steady!" Trixie said, stepping back from Kiki, who sighed in relief, uncurling her fists.

Roxanne sighed loudly, drawing the attention of both her friends, who watched her drop the plug of the laser hair-remover to the ground and then kick it.

"What's up, Roxanne?" Trixie asked her.

"Yeah Roxanne!" Kiki added. "You don't look too happy!"

"And this is your hen night!" Trixie pointed out.

"You should be having fun!" Kiki said.

"We are having fun!" Trixie protested. "We're all having beauty treatments! What could be more fun than that?"

"A party?" Roxanne grumbled.

"You said you didn't want a party, Roxanne!" Kiki pointed out.

"Of course I said I didn't want a party!" Roxanne groaned. "I said that so that you guys would throw a big surprise party for me!"

"But we didn't throw a big surprise party for you, Roxanne," Trixie said slowly.

"I know!" Roxanne shouted at her.

Trixie and Kiki turned to each other, each shrugging their shoulders.

"Kid's having a party," Roxanne muttered.

"Kid's having a party?" Kiki echoed.

"Yeah, and we all know what that means, don't we?" Trixie asked sarcastically, folding her arms across her chest.

"It means Kid, Terry, Dik Dik, Wally, Jaeger and Checkmate are going to the hut in Beverly Park to watch low-budget porn movies," Kiki drawled, rolling her eyes.

"Who cares what he's doing?" Roxanne snapped. "The point is, I bet he's having way more fun than I am!"

"Okay, okay!" Trixie said, holding up both hands defensively. "So what do you wanna do, Roxanne?"

"Yeah, Roxanne," Kiki agreed, standing up from the couch. "Just tell us what you want to do, and we'll make it happen for you!"

Kiki turned to Trixie, and both nodded at each other, smiling in satisfaction with their responses to Roxanne's crisis. They then turned to face Roxanne, who glanced back and forth between them, her eyes wide and her face solemn.

"Well…" she began slowly.

"Come on, Roxanne!" Trixie coaxed.

"You'll do anything I want?" Roxanne asked.

"Sure!" Kiki agreed. "Anything you want, Roxanne!"

"Just say the word!" Trixie added.

A smile slowly crept onto Roxanne's face as her eyes wandered up towards the ceiling in thought.

"Okay," she eventually said, dropping her eyes back to her two friends. "I've got an idea…"

* * *

Trixie arched her eyebrows cynically, turning to Kiki to check her response. Kiki was frowning at Roxanne her mouth formed into a pout as though she was about to say something, but could not quite get the words out.

"The mall?" Trixie eventually managed to say.

"This is what you wanted to do, Roxanne?" Kiki asked.

"You wanted to go shopping…" Trixie said slowly.

"At the mall…" Kiki added.

"For chocolate?" Trixie finished.

"Don't you guys see, this is just the beginning!" Roxanne squealed, jumping up and down on the spot in glee. "I'm gonna do something I've always wanted to do, but never could!"

"Oh yeah?" Trixie drawled. "Like what, buy two Mars Bars instead of just one?"

"Check this out!" Roxanne said, before skipping into the chocolate shop.

Kiki turned to Trixie questioningly, but Trixie merely shrugged her shoulders.

"Hey, if she's having fun, who are we to complain?" Trixie whispered.

"I guess so…" Kiki whispered.

"C'mon, best keep an eye on her," Trixie suggested, heading into the shop and beckoning for Kiki to follow her.

Trixie and Kiki slowly followed after Roxanne, watching in bemusement as she stopped by the chocolate fountain by the back of the shop.

The chocolate fountain was a steel fountain around five feet high, from the top of which poured molten chocolate, which was caught in a deep steel bowl halfway down the fountain, before draining away to be recycled. Although the fountain was mainly for display purposes, many had stolen cupfuls from the cascading chocolate in the past.

"You don't think that she…?" Trixie asked warily, stopping a short distance from Roxanne.

"Surely not?" Kiki squeaked, stopping by Trixie's side.

The girls watched as Roxanne unashamedly cupped her hands under the flow of chocolate, filling her hands before pulling her hands back to drink from them.

"This is her idea of fun?" Trixie grumbled.

"Hey, get out of there!" a shop assistant yelled as she spotted Roxanne stealing from the chocolate fountain.

Roxanne screamed in delight, running out the shop, spraying chocolate everywhere as she swung her arms back and forth at her sides. Trixie and Kiki remained where they stood, watching their friend run past them and out into the main mall before turning to each other and sweatdropping.

"Come on," Trixie sighed. "I get the feeling the fun will be never-ending tonight…"

"I wish Mars was here," Kiki sighed.

"This is a hen night, no boys allowed!" Trixie protested. "But just for the record, where is Mars tonight, anyway?"

"He went out with Kevin Mask," Kiki replied, rolling her eyes.

"I hate Kevin Mask," Trixie moaned. "How can you stand living with him?"

"I don't see that much of him, actually," Kiki answered. "The Mask Estate is so huge."

"Isn't it weird when you do have to see him though?" Trixie asked.

Kiki paused before answering, frowning as Roxanne streaked past them, giggling as a security guard ran after her.

"I just keep hoping that he gets bored of us and leaves," Kiki confessed.

"But it's his house!" Trixie pointed out.

"Yeah, but what does he need it for?" Kiki impatiently replied. "It's not like he's got any friends, or any family!"

"Except for his dad and Mars," Trixie said as Roxanne ran past them again.

"What is she doing?" Kiki asked, scrunching up her nose as she watched Roxanne leap up onto the rim of the water fountain in the centre of the mall and then proceed to wash the chocolate from her hands under the water before skipping around on the wall of the water fountain.

"Going crazy?" Trixie suggested.

"Well, well, well, if it ain't Kid Muscle's little groupie girls, having their little girls' night out for Kid's bride-to-be!" a sarcastic voice snarled.

Trixie and Kiki slowly turned around in unison, their eyes widening as they caught sight of Jacqueline McMadd standing behind them, her hands on her hips, her face shadowed with a stern frown.

"You're not invited," Trixie flatly replied. "But before you go, do me a favour, yeah? Go buy yourself a change of clothes! That is ridiculous! I can't believe you are still wearing that same God-damned outfit! It didn't look good the first time you wore it, why are you still wearing it now? Haven't you ever heard of a washing machine?"

Jacqueline smirked to herself, slowly and loudly clapping her hands at Trixie's rebuttal.

"Nice," Jacqueline said tightly. "But seriously ladies, is this it? Is this the future Princess of Muscle Planet's official hen party? Because if it is, I have to say that it sucks!"

"But this is what Roxanne wanted to do!" Kiki hurriedly explained.

"Really?" Jacqueline asked. "I bet I can think of a few things she would rather do…"

"We all could," Trixie grumbled. "But apparently Roxanne wanted to steal from the chocolate fountain and torment the security staff."

"I bet the boys went to a strip club," Jacqueline sighed, flicking her hair off her face with her fingers.

"Probably," Kiki agreed.

"So why don't you ladies do the same?" Jacqueline suggested.

"What, go to a strip club?" Trixie echoed. "And watch other women take their clothes off?"

"No, you blonde bimbo," Jacqueline growled. "I meant a strip club where the men take their clothes off!"

"A strip club where the men take their clothes off?" Roxanne squealed, skidding to a halt in front of Jacqueline, her back turned to her friends. "Such a place exists beyond the realms of my dreams?"

"Yeah, of course it does," Jacqueline sighed. "But I have to be honest, they're not that common."

"But you know where they are, right?" Roxanne urged.

Jacqueline began to smirk again, her bright green eyes twinkling as she looked down at Roxanne.

"What if I told you that I know where a very special club is," she began. "A club where the men wander around in their underwear all the time. A club where all the men are buff, and they'll do anything you ask them to."

Roxanne's eyes doubled in size and her lower jaw fell away from her face in wonder.

"Really?" she gasped.

"Sure," Jacqueline agreed, nodding her head.

"Can you take us there?" Roxanne asked.

"Sure," Jacqueline replied.

"Where exactly is this place?" Trixie asked suspiciously, marching up to Jacqueline, stopping by Roxanne's side.

"Yeah!" Kiki agreed, marching up to stand at Roxanne's other side. "I've sure never heard of such a place!"

"Oh but you have!" Jacqueline said.

"We have?" Trixie asked, glancing at Kiki, who merely shrugged her shoulders to confirm that she was as perplexed as Trixie was. "So then where is it?"

"It's on a little planet called Wrestle Planet," Jacqueline slyly replied.

"Wrestle Planet?" Kiki repeated. "But the only thing on Wrestle Planet is the Hercules Factory!"

"Exactly!" Jacqueline replied.

* * *

"Whoa!" Trixie blurted out, staggering back as she looked up at the training academy for Muscle League Justice Chojins.

"This place is so huge!" Kiki gasped.

"It took us a couple of hours to get here, though," Roxanne began anxiously. "And my wedding is on Muscle Planet–"

"Say no more!" Jacqueline interrupted her. "Wrestle Planet is closer to Muscle Planet than Earth is."

"How much closer?" Trixie asked. "We needed to leave Earth before eight in the morning."

"Then we won't need to leave here until eleven," Jacqueline confidently replied.

"An all-night party?" Roxanne whispered in awe.

"And now all we need is some entertainment," Jacqueline sighed.

The girls looked around the barren planet, which appeared to be devoid of any life. Roxanne instinctively began to walk towards the main academy building itself. Trixie soon followed her, and even Kiki began to make her way towards the giant building; but Jacqueline remained where she stood.

Roxanne, Trixie and Kiki screamed in shock, skidding to a halt and grabbing their hands over their ears as Jacqueline let out a deafening wolf whistle.

"What the hell was that for?" Trixie snapped at Jacqueline.

"You'll see," Jacqueline calmly replied.

Trixie looked around expectantly, a smirk appearing on her face when nothing startling happened as a result of Jacqueline's whistle.

"See what, exactly?" Trixie said smugly, turning back to Jacqueline.

"Oh my God, who is that?" Roxanne squeaked, hurrying over to Trixie's side and grabbing her arm.

"Who?" Kiki asked, running over to Trixie's other side.

"His name isn't important, ladies," Jacqueline replied. "We don't care who he is, we just care about what he can do…"

Roxanne, Trixie and Kiki watched in silent awe as a young Chojin approached Jacqueline, nodding his head in polite greeting as he neared her.

"Miss McMadd, how can I help you?" he asked her.

"I want the Hand of Hercules brought up, with all five rings," Jacqueline ordered. "And I want the top ten students to perform for us in the rings, understand?"

"Yes, Miss McMadd."

"And get us some of those thrones to sit on."

"Yes, Miss."

"And get us some refreshments."

"Yes, Miss."

"Now."

"Yes, Miss!"

Roxanne, Trixie and Kiki watched as the Chojin jogged off in the direction of the building behind them, before turning back to Jacqueline, who merely smiled down at them.

"You can just tell them what to do?" Roxanne asked.

"Of course!" Jacqueline replied.

"And they'll do whatever you say?" Kiki asked. "No matter what it is?"

"Of course!" Jacqueline replied.

"You know, with powers like that, I think I might just be able to overlook your horrible fashion sense and be your friend, Jacqueline," Trixie declared.

"Don't thank me yet," Jacqueline calmly replied. "The fun hasn't even started."

"The fun?" Roxanne repeated.

"Not even started?" Kiki added.

"There's more?" Trixie asked.

"Hell yes!" Jacqueline replied, waving a hand at the girls.

A rumbling sound behind and below Jacqueline started up, rising in intensity as the ground beneath their feet began to shake violently.

"What's going on?" Roxanne cried as she staggered around in an attempt to remain upright.

"That's our cue, come on," Jacqueline explained, turning in the direction of the noise and beckoning for the others to follow her.

"Do you guys get the feeling that maybe what we're doing isn't right somehow?" Kiki asked the others nervously as she swayed on the spot.

"Who cares?" Trixie asked, shrugging her shoulders. "Jacqueline McMadd like totally owns this whole place, so as long as we stick with her, we'll be fine!"

"You've certainly changed your attitude towards Jacqueline!" Roxanne pointed out.

"Hey, you saw how she just totally dominated that guy back there," Trixie replied. "A woman with that much power deserves our respect! Now come on you two, let's go!"

Trixie began to follow Jacqueline, walking quickly to catch her up. Roxanne and Kiki turned to each other warily as they staggered around on the spot in an attempt to maintain their balance.

"Wh-what should we do?" Kiki asked.

"I guess we should just follow Jacqueline," Roxanne replied. "She said the fun hadn't even started yet, right?"

"Right…"

Roxanne slowly stumbled forwards, trying her best to walk in a straight line as she hurried after Jacqueline and Trixie. Kiki hesitated a moment longer, looking up at the night sky overhead, smiling to herself as she spotted a familiar red dot in the heavens.

"Mars," she sighed. "I hope you're having a better night than I am so far…"

* * *

"We're just gonna watch them fight?" Trixie asked, opening a can of beer.

"For now, yes," Jacqueline replied, helping herself to a glass of champagne.

"I have a question?" Kiki ventured, eying the table of food and drink positioned between Jacqueline and Trixie.

"What is it?" Jacqueline asked, before sipping from her glass.

"Well, Mars told me that the Justice Chojins training at the Hercules Factory were denied distractions and diversions, because their trainers told them such things were just like poison to them," Kiki began. "And one of the things they were not allowed was alcohol."

"What's your point?" Jacqueline asked impatiently.

"Well, if the students here are not allowed alcohol, where did all that come from?" Kiki asked, pointing at the bottles of champagne and cans of beer by Jacqueline's side.

"Just because they have to do without, doesn't mean that we have to as well," Jacqueline plainly replied.

"I like you're way of thinking, girl!" Trixie commended her.

"Hell, I'll drink to that!" Roxanne agreed, grabbing up a glass of champagne for herself and chinking it against the side of Trixie's can of beer.

"I dunno about this," Kiki said cautiously. "Are you guys sure tha–"

"Here, Kiki, have a drink," Jacqueline interrupted her, handing her a glass of champagne.

"And have a seat," Trixie added.

Roxanne sat down into the large, velvet-padded seat next to Trixie, and Kiki slowly lowered herself into the equally indulgent seat next to Jacqueline. All four seats were arranged in a straight line, facing out towards the five fingertips of the Hand of Hercules, with the table of refreshments conveniently placed in the middle of the row.

"Do you know, there's nothing I enjoy more than watching big, burly men beat each other to a bloody pulp," Jacqueline commented.

"Especially when they're practically naked, like these guys are!" Trixie added.

"What do you say, princess?" Jacqueline asked, turning to Roxanne.

"What?" Roxanne yelped, as all three girls turned to her.

"You are marrying the prince of Muscle Planet, aren't you?" Jacqueline asked her.

"Well, yes," Roxanne slowly replied. "But that doesn't exactly make me a princess!"

"Au contraire," Jacqueline corrected her. "That's exactly what it makes you. At least, until King Muscle hands the throne over to Kid, at which point you'll be the queen of Muscle Planet."

"But that won't happen for a long time!" Roxanne nervously replied.

"You think?" Trixie asked. "I mean, King Muscle is really old now!"

"I thought King Muscle said that he wanted to hand the throne over to Kid pretty soon," Kiki added. "Didn't he say something about taking early retirement?"

"What?" Roxanne yelped. "No! I don't want to be a queen just yet!"

"You shoulda thought of that before you let Prince Mantaro Kinniku put that thing on your finger, sister!" Jacqueline drawled, jabbing a finger at Roxanne's gleaming engagement ring.

"Don't worry about it, Roxanne," Trixie assured her friend. "You'll be ready for it when the time comes."

"But what if the time is like the day after I get back from my honeymoon?" Roxanne asked nervously. "What then?"

"Isn't that what your hen night is for?" Kiki asked. "To enjoy your freedom while you still have it?"

Roxanne glanced nervously between the five fingers of the Hand of Hercules, sprawling out in front of her, her attention shifting between the rings on the tips of each of the fingers. She quickly finished off her glass of champagne, at which point Trixie courteously handed her a second glass.

"I know we all dream about being a princess when we're little girls, but I don't know if I actually want to be one!" Roxanne wailed.

"I never dreamt about being a princess," Jacqueline sighed, helping herself to a second glass of champagne. "All I ever wanted to be was the chairman of the IWF."

Kiki's face twisted involuntarily as she watched Jacqueline thump one booted foot onto her footstool and the other onto the small holding fridge by the table of food. Jacqueline slouched lower in her chair, adopting a position only a male couch potato would be proud of.

"I wanted to be a mermaid," Trixie said, putting down her empty can of beer and picking up a glass of champagne.

"I wanted to be an astronaut!" Kiki said dreamily.

"Gee, how appropriate," Jacqueline snorted, snatching Kiki's empty glass from her hand and presenting her with a full one.

"Huh?" Kiki responded as she accepted her second glass.

"You wanted to ride a rocket to Mars, and now you're riding Mars's rocket," Jacqueline dryly replied.

"You guys!" Roxanne cried as Trixie snorted with laughter and Kiki gasped in shock at Jacqueline's snide quip. "This is serious!"

"I was a swimming champion at school," Trixie said with a sigh.

"I'm smarter, better-looking, more ambitious and a better public speaker than my brother, and still he got the company over me," Jacqueline said.

"I guess coming here kinda makes me a astronaut, huh?" Kiki asked no-one in particular.

"What exactly does the queen of Muscle Planet do, anyway?" Roxanne wailed.

"The strange thing is, I get sea-sick on boats," Trixie said.

"I had my chance at being chairman, and I blew it!" Jacqueline said.

"Travelling through outer space was nothing like I imagined it to be," Kiki said.

"Belinda managed to be queen, so I guess it can't be that hard…" Roxanne said.

"Of course, it's impossible for me to be a mermaid," Trixie said.

"I think that even if I was the oldest sibling, my fat, useless old man would still have given the chair to Ikeman over me," Jacqueline said.

"But being on another world is amazing," Kiki said.

"And it's a real turnaround from being an abandoned orphan!" Roxanne said.

"I'm not unhappy with what I'm doing with my life now, though," Trixie said.

"I'll get my chance again, and when I do, I'll really show them all what for!" Jacqueline said.

"But I'm happy where I am, I don't think I want to be an astronaut any more," Kiki said.

"Hey, Jacqueline, didn't you say these guys would do tricks for us?" Roxanne asked, leaning over Trixie to grab up another glass of champagne.

"Sure," Jacqueline agreed. "What does the queen want?"

Roxanne smirked at Jacqueline's remark, her mind churning over her options.

"How about some music?" she eventually replied.

"Certainly," Jacqueline agreed.

Jacqueline pushed her index fingers into her mouth and let out another piercing wolf whistle that caused the other girls to cringe. Within seconds of her call, a young Chojin appeared behind the table between Jacqueline and Trixie, standing to attention.

"You called, Miss McMadd?" he said politely.

"We want music," Jacqueline informed him.

"The sort of music you can really get down to, you know what I mean?" Roxanne added.

"Certainly, Miss," the Chojin agreed. "Right away, Miss."

Trixie watched the Chojin jog back towards the academy building before turning to Jacqueline, who met her eyes with a smirk of her own.

"I'm really starting to like it here," Trixie said.

"I told you that you would," Jacqueline sighed. "And trust me, there's still way more fun to be had."

"Dance for us!" Roxanne yelled at the five rings as the faint sound of music reached her ears.

"The music isn't loud enough!" Kiki pointed out.

"Hoi!" Trixie yelled over her shoulder. "Get the speakers up here, and turn the volume up as high as it goes!"

"And do it now!" Jacqueline added.

Jacqueline and Trixie turned to each other with a sly smirk, chinking their glasses together.

"Now this is more like a real hen party!" Roxanne squealed in delight.

* * *

"Hoi!" Trixie shouted, staggering towards the ring apron. "You in the blue!"

Trixie waved a fistful of money at the three Chojins inside the ring on the middle finger of the Hand of Hercules.

"If I give you…"

Trixie squinted at the bundle of notes in her hand in a weak attempt to count them.

"If I give you this many, will you take off your underpants?" she asked.

"Wait!" Roxanne yelled, thrusting a handful of money at the ring ropes as she stumbled up to Trixie's side. "I'll give you this much if you kiss the guy in the red!"

"No!" Kiki screamed, thumping a fist onto the mat as the leaned against the ring apron for support. "I'll give you this much if you do that sexy dance again! All three of you!"

"Ladies, ladies, please!" Jacqueline shouted, waving her hands in the air, beer sloshing from the can she held in one hand. "There's no need to get nasty! We can all get what we want here!"

"I want him in the blue out of those underpants!" Trixie quickly said.

"I want him in the blue to kiss him in the red!" Roxanne snapped. "Now! And I wanna see tongues!"

"I want to see them dance!" Kiki moaned, beating her fist off the edge of the ring mat.

"This is so simple!" Jacqueline said, smiling idiotically at them. "All three men can do the sexy dance for Kiki."

"Yay!" Kiki cheered, throwing her money up into the air.

"And while they're dancing, they can all take off their underpants, for Trixie," Jacqueline continued.

"Wow, all three?" Trixie squealed. "Better still!"

"And then they can all kiss each other," Jacqueline finished. "Just for you, Kinniku Roxanne."

"That's Princess Kinnikee… Kinnika… Kinniko… Princess!" Roxanne stammered.

"A toast!" Trixie declared, grabbing up another can of beer. "To Princess Kinniko-oko Roxy-anne!"

"Princess Kinnako Roxine!" Kiki yelled, grabbing up another can of beer and raising it in the air next to Trixie's.

"Princess Kinniku Roxanne!" Jacqueline added, raising her own can.

"Me!" Roxanne said, raising a can of beer in the air. "Princess Muscleman!"

All four girls staggered towards each other in an attempt to complete their toast, failing miserably at their task. When they noticed that the three Chojins inside the ring were standing perfectly still, staring at them in dumbfounded shock, Jacqueline quickly regained her air of authority.

"What are you all looking at?" she barked. "Get on with it! Dance! Strip! Make out!"

"Wow, Jacqueline!" Trixie said as the Chojins jumped to attention at the sound of Jacqueline's voice. "You've got such power over men! I so totally respect you for that!"

"Yeah, that's pretty amazing, Jacqueline!" Kiki added. "I mean, I could never be like that! I like being the weaker one in my relationship with Mars."

"Sister, I can relate!" Roxanne said, slapping a hand onto Jacqueline's shoulder. "I have to be the strong one in my relationship with Kid Muscle!"

"Being a strong woman is so much fun," Jacqueline agreed. "But do you know, it still hasn't got me what I want."

"What do you want, Jacqueline?" Trixie asked her. "Because you can just say the word, and we'll get it for you, babe!"

"I want to be chairman of the IWF!" Jacqueline firmly replied.

"That's easy!" Kiki said. "We'll just threaten Ikeman again! We'll totally wax off his eyebrows, and then he'll have to hide his face, and then you're free to rule the world! Or the IWF, I forget which…"

"And I want Kevin Mask to be my personal bitch!" Jacqueline said.

"You want Kevin Mask?" Roxanne asked in disbelief. "But why? Didn't you see his face at the Chojin Crown final? He's like the total doppelganger of Nick Hasler!"

"And Nick Hasler looks like a girl!" Trixie added.

"I know!" Jacqueline bellowed. "That's why I want him so badly!"

"Because you're a lesbian?" Kiki asked.

"No, because I want a man who knows his place!" Jacqueline replied. "I want to be the man in the relationship, I need a man who can be my woman!"

"You're confusing my head!" Roxanne moaned.

"Not me," Trixie said, shaking her head. "I mean, Kevin is kinda feminine, right?"

"Kevin Mask is a total loser!" Kiki growled. "Trust me Jacqueline, you don't want him! No-one does!"

"But I do!" Jacqueline wailed. "I want him so badly, and no matter what I do, he won't get down on his knees and do as I tell him to!"

"He totally rough-housed you at the Chojin Crown ball, Jacqueline!" Roxanne pointed out.

"I can't imagine him being submissive," Trixie added. "Least of all to a woman. Least of all to a McMadd. Least of all to you. But least of all to a woman."

"You already said that!" Kiki snapped.

"I'm a sucker for blonde men," Jacqueline sighed.

"I can relate to that," Trixie agreed, nodding her head.

"And Kevin is just too…" Jacqueline began.

"Annoying to be allowed to live for another day longer?" Kiki suggested.

"He needs someone to whip him into shape!" Jacqueline finished.

"Hey, if you want to whip Kevin, that's always cool by me!" Kiki brightened. "And while you're at it, take him home with you, he's pissing me off back home!"

"If he were mine I wouldn't let him out!" Jacqueline snarled.

"Wow, you really are tough!" Trixie gasped.

"I'd keep him in a cage!" Jacqueline added.

"I have to keep Kid in order, but I wouldn't go so far as keeping him in a cage," Roxanne said.

"Kevin Mask will be mine, you'll see!" Jacqueline declared. "I'll get him yet…"

"No way, check it out!" Kiki squealed. "Those guys are totally making out!"

"And they're naked!" Roxanne added.

"Wow Jacqueline, you're my new hero!" Trixie sighed.

"Did I do good for your party, girls?" Jacqueline asked.

"Hell yeah!" Roxanne, Trixie and Kiki replied in unison.

"Then you all have to do me a very big favour," Jacqueline said.

"Sure," Kiki agreed.

"Anything," Roxanne added.

"Just say the word, Jacqueline!" Trixie chirped.

"I want…" Jacqueline began. "I want everyone to call me Jack, first of all."

"Jackie?" Kiki asked.

"No, not Jackie," Jacqueline argued. "Just Jack."

"Just… Jack?" Roxanne asked.

"Just Jack," Jacqueline confirmed. "And third of all, I want Kevin Mask."

"What was the second thing?" Trixie asked.

"What second thing?" Jacqueline asked her.

"You said third of all," Trixie pointed out.

"I get three requests, don't I? There are three of you!"

Trixie frowned, looking around the others as she pondered Jacqueline's question.

"Of course you get three wishes!" Roxanne blurted, patting Jacqueline on the shoulder.

"We'll call you Jack, Jack!" Kiki said.

"And we'll get you Kevin Mask!" Trixie added.

"And we'll make you chairman of the IWF!" Roxanne finished.

Jacqueline looked around the three girls, tears forming in her eyes.

"My God!" she gasped. "I think I love you! All of you!"

"Oh wow!" Trixie squealed. "That's so totally weird, cause I love you too, Jack!"

"I love you three, Jack!" Roxanne cried, throwing her arms around Jacqueline's waist from behind.

"And I love you four!" Kiki added, grabbing her arms around Jacqueline's midsection from the front.

"And I love you more!" Trixie said, wrapping her arms around Jacqueline's shoulders.

"And I love you all!" Jacqueline sobbed. "But I love power and Kevin Mask even more than that again!"

* * *

"Ow, my head!" Kiki groaned as she tried to sit up.

Squinting as her vision blurred in and out of focus, Kiki was barely able to make out the distinct shape of Jacqueline McMadd lying a short distance from her.

"Hey Jacqueline?" she said, poking a finger at Jacqueline's ear. "We fell asleep outside!"

"We whuh?" Jacqueline groaned, as she stirred from her slumber.

"What time is it?" Kiki asked as she rubbed lazily at her eyes.

"I dunno," Jacqueline mumbled, slowly sitting up. "I don't wear a watch. I don't need to."

"Whoa, that was one hell of a night!" Trixie said, crawling over to join Kiki and Jacqueline. "Has anyone seen Roxanne?"

"Who?" Jacqueline asked.

"Roxanne?" Kiki asked. "Isn't she flying away today to go marry Kid Muscle on Muscle Planet?"

"Oh yeah!" Jacqueline agreed.

"Yeah, but she wouldn't leave without us, right?" Trixie asked.

"She can't leave without us, I've got the keys to the spaceship!" Jacqueline laughed, jangling a set of keys in front of Trixie and Kiki.

"Oh no…" Trixie muttered. "Look!"

Trixie pointed over Jacqueline's shoulder, and Kiki quickly turned to see what it was that Trixie was staring at.

"Roxanne?" Kiki yelped, as she sighted Roxanne lying flat on her back, one hand rested on her chest holding a can of beer upright.

"What time is it?" Trixie asked urgently, grabbing at Kiki's wrist.

"Oh yeah, I've got a watch on!" Kiki giggled.

"Holy shit, it's eleven-thirty!" Trixie yelped.

"Never fear, girls, Jack's here!" Jacqueline declared, standing up and holding out the keys in front of herself.

Trixie and Kiki watched in silent horror as Jacqueline slowly keeled over, landing in an ungraceful heap on the ground, the keys slipping from her fingers and rolling away from her.

"We're already half an hour late, and we have two unconscious bodies on our hands, what are we going to do?" Trixie wailed.

"Easy!" Kiki replied, standing up. "We'll get the guys to help us load Roxanne and Jacqueline onto the ship, and I'll fly us there!"

"You?" Trixie echoed, struggling to her feet. "But you've never flown a spaceship in your life! How can you possibly get us there?"

"I always wanted to be an astronaut!" Kiki defended herself. "And besides, how hard can it be?"

Trixie opened her mouth to protest, but decided against it. After all, they were already late, and arguing over the matter would only make the situation even more difficult than it already was.

"I'll go get the guys to come up here, you go down to the spaceship and see if you can plot a course to Muscle Planet," Trixie said with a sigh. "I get the feeling this is going to be a long day…"

* * *

 **Next Chapter:** With both the boys and the girls running a little behind schedule, will Kid and Roxanne make it to the church on time for their wedding? **Chapter 3 – The Ceremony**.


	3. The Ceremony

**A/N:** I asked myself a question prior to writing this chapter: could I possibly be any crueller to Kevin Mask? And the answer was yes. Yes I could. But then again, the whole purpose of this fic was to round off the end of _The Reason_ and put the wheels in motion for the next major sequel by making Kevin's life as difficult as possible. Mission accomplished, methinks!

 **Recap:** Roxanne's hen night was taken over by Jacqueline McMadd, who took the girls to Wrestle Planet for a party with a difference that left the girls too worn out to wake on time to catch their 11 o'clock flight to Muscle Planet.

* * *

 **Chapter 3 – The Ceremony**

Kevin Mask slouched lower in his seat, cradling his head in his hands. He was still amazed that his skull was in tact after the force of the impact it had endured. Mars may have been many things, but a spaceship pilot he most definitely was not. But, Kevin reminded himself, those of the group who were capable pilots had all been too ill to fly the morning after Kid's stag party.

"Ah, c'mon, Kev, y'know I didn't mean it!" Mars said, slapping a hand against the back of Kevin's mask.

Kevin let out a stifled groan of pain as his head began to throb again.

"And besides, I got us here on time, right?" Mars added.

"Yes, that you did, Mars," Kevin tightly replied. "But a warning would have been nice. Rather than just aiming for the surface of the planet and hoping for the best, following some sort of landing procedure might have been even better still."

"We didn't have time for any of dat shit," Mars plainly replied.

"Still, a warning would have been nice," Kevin grumbled.

"Hey, none of da other guys got hurt!" Mars pointed out.

"They didn't get hurt because they were all in their seats and wearing their safety harnesses, that's why!"

"Well, you shoulda been doin' da same!"

"I was in the toilet, you bastard!"

"You was?"

"Yes! And when you started accelerating towards the surface of the planet, I fell forwards and smacked my head off the bloody wall!"

"Man, dat's pretty nasty."

"You're telling me!"

"So what happened?"

"What do you mean, what happened?"

"Well, if you was takin' a piss and den you fell over, did you mess yourself?"

Kevin slowly lifted his head from his hands, turning to glare at Mars.

"Hey, I was just curious!" Mars defended himself.

"Do me a favour, Mars?" Kevin growled.

"Yeah?"

"Bugger off."

Kevin dropped his head back into his hands, closing his eyes. Mars pulled a face at him in mock offence at his remark, but stopped when he realised that Kevin was no longer looking at him.

"Okay, but I still don't get why it hurt so bad," Mars added. "I mean, didn't dat big metal bucket on your head protect you none?"

"My head was thrown forwards, so that I bashed my forehead off the inside of my mask as I collided with the wall," Kevin patiently replied. "And then the force of the impact caused my head to be thrown backwards, whereupon I bashed the back of my head off the inside of my mask. My iron mask, you bastard."

"Hey, it ain't my fault you gotta wear dat thing!" Mars argued. "I'ma go see what da girls are up to, I'll catch ya later, Kev."

Kevin grumbled something inaudible under his breath as Mars slipped out of the room. Deciding it was probably best to just leave Kevin alone to wallow in his own self-pity at that point, Mars continued along the corridor to the door leading to the room the girls were using to prepare for the wedding. Raising one hand to knock on the door, a devious smirk appeared on Mars's face, and he grabbed the door handle, throwing the door open and running inside.

Mars skidded to a halt, his eyes doubling in size at what he saw.

"Where are your manners? Don't you know that you should knock before entering a ladies' changing room?"

Mars gulped audibly as Wally's mother planted her hands on her hips, scowling at him defiantly as she stood before him in her underwear.

"Ah man, I'm gonna need therapy to get over dat image!" he groaned, lifting up a hand to shield his eyes. "Where's Kiki at?"

"Kiki?" Wally's mother echoed. "Kiki isn't here."

"What?" Mars yelped, dropping his hand from his eyes.

"She isn't here yet," Wally's mother replied, turning her back on Mars to retrieve her dressing gown.

"Ah man!" Mars groaned as she bent over in front of him.

Mars shielded his eyes again, screwing up his face in disgust.

"Da wedding ceremony starts in like fifteen minutes, ain't dat really bad if one of da bridesmaids ain't here yet?" he asked.

"It's not just Kiki that hasn't turned up," Wally's mother replied as she pulled on her dressing gown. "Roxanne, Trixie and Jacqueline McMadd are all missing too. Queen Muscle said that Dorothy and I could use this room to get ready since the girls had disappeared."

"Disappeared?"

Mars froze as his mind began to process the information he had just heard.

"Uh oh…" he said in a low voice. "We was meant to take da girls wid us to Muscle Planet. Dey must still be on Earth!"

"What was that?" Wally's mother asked.

"Ah rats!" Mars cursed, running out of the room.

"Close the door behind you!" Wally's mother yelled after him.

But Mars ignored her cry, running all the way back to the small room he had left Kevin in. He staggered through the door, grabbing Kevin's shoulder and shaking him violently.

"Kev, da girls!" he cried. "We forgot about da girls! Dey was meant to come wid us from Earth! What are we gonna do?"

"Stop shaking me, you idiot!" Kevin roared, swiping Mars's hand off his shoulder. "Now tell me again, what are you yapping on about now?"

"Roxanne!" Kid Muscle screamed, bursting into the room. "We forgot to pick up Roxanne! I can't get married without my bride, what am I gonna do?"

"Oh for fu…" Kevin muttered.

Kevin sighed, standing up with one hand still pressed against his head.

"Kev, you gotta do somethin'!" Mars shouted at him.

"Why the hell does it have to be me?" Kevin asked.

"I can't see Roxanne today, it's bad luck!" Kid pointed out.

"And besides, it ain't like you got anythin' better to do, Kev," Mars added.

"You cheeky f…" Kevin began, narrowing his eyes at Mars.

"Atta boy, Kev," Mars said brightly, slapping Kevin on the back as he pushed him towards the door. "Go get 'em!"

Kid watched Kevin grumble and curse his way out of the room, before turning to Mars, tears forming in his eyes.

"What are we gonna do, Mars?" he wailed.

""We" ain't gonna nothin'," Mars coldly replied. "I ain't gonna be seen wid a loser like you, you're crampin' my style."

Kid yelped in offence as Mars walked out of the room, leaving him alone to wallow in his own self-pity.

* * *

"What is taking Kiki so God-damned long to get back here!" Roxanne roared, thumping a fist against the windowpane.

"Relax, Roxanne!" Trixie assured her. "We've still got five minutes before the start of the ceremony, and before we arrive, Kid and all the men have to walk up the aisle! We'll be fine! At least we're all ready to go!"

Trixie twirled around in her dress, admiring her reflection one more time. Roxanne sighed, flicking her veil back up over the back of her head.

"Kiki, where are you?" she groaned.

"Relax, girls, a late entrance is a fashionable one!" Jacqueline announced as she strutted into the room.

"Speaking of fashionable, is that what you're wearing to the wedding?" Trixie asked, eying Jacqueline over sceptically.

"Well yeah!" Jacqueline sarcastically replied. "And what exactly is wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"You mean apart from the fact that it's the same outfit you've been wearing every single day for the last six months?" Trixie sneered.

"Oh my God, is that a police car?" Roxanne wailed, slapping both hands against the window and leaning closer to it.

"What? Where?" Trixie yelped, grabbing up the excess material of her skirts and running over to the window to take a look for herself.

"There!" Roxanne cried, hammering the tip of her index finger against the window.

"Don't do that, you'll break a nail!" Trixie protested, grabbing Roxanne's wrist and pulling her hand back from the window. "You're just damn lucky I had all your stuff packed and ready to go, and that I had the sense to take it with us when we left Earth!"

"You didn't have the sense to take it with us when we left Earth!" Jacqueline scoffed. "Kiki was the one who made us go back for it!"

"Yeah, whatever!" Trixie sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Oh my God, I don't believe this!" Roxanne said loudly. "Look! The police car! It's Kiki!"

"What the–?" Trixie gasped.

"She sure is a resourceful little chipmunk, isn't she?" Jacqueline sighed, smirking in respect as Kiki stepped out of the driver's side of the police car, waving a hand for the others to join her.

"How did she manage to get a police car?" Roxanne asked as she pulled her veil back down over her face.

"Who cares?" Trixie asked, helping Roxanne to gather up her dress enough to allow her to walk. "It's high-speed transport, right?"

"Right, but can you imagine the headlines in tomorrow's news?" Roxanne muttered. ""New Queen of Muscle Planet Endorses Theft of Police Vehicle"…"

"Relax!" Jacqueline groaned, yanking open the door.

Roxanne sighed again before stepping outside, her eyes landing on Kiki, who was grinning from ear to ear, waving a hand at Roxanne in greeting.

"I don't wanna know how," she called out to Kiki as Jacqueline closed the door behind them. "Just get us to Muscleham Palace as quick as you can!"

"No problem, Princess Roxanne!" Kiki chirped.

"And knock it off with all that "princess" crap!" Roxanne snapped as Trixie pushed her into the backseat of the car.

"Nice going, Kiki," Trixie whispered to Kiki as she climbed in after Roxanne. "You can fill me in on how you pulled this one off later."

Kiki nodded her head in silent agreement, before sitting back down into the driver's seat as Jacqueline leapt into the front passenger seat.

"Fasten you seatbelts, girls, we're going to the palace!" Kiki said cheerfully as she fastened her own seatbelt.

"Less talk, more – whoa !" Roxanne yelped as the car lurched forwards.

* * *

"It ain't like you got anythin' better to do, Kev," Kevin grumbled, in his best impersonation of Mars possible. "Cheeky bastard, I'll show him! Hell, I did show him! I beat him into a bloody pulp and stood victorious as the Chojin Crown Champion!"

Kevin forced out laughter as he tried to ignore his thumping headache and tried to manoeuvre the motorbike the Royal Guard of Muscleham Palace had lent him. Muscle Planet was a place Kevin had hoped to avoid his entire life, and chasing after another man's bride-to-be really was not his idea of fun; but if it meant that the whole stupid charade would be over and done with sooner, then he was all for helping the idiotic Kinniku prince.

As Kevin swayed and swerved his way along what the people of Muscle Planet actually had the nerve to call a road – more like a collection of rocks and debris, in Kevin's own opinion – a set of blue and red flashing lights appeared on the horizon. Kevin frowned beneath his mask, the distinct wailing of sirens alerting him to fact that it was obviously some sort of emergency vehicle. Out of instinct, Kevin began to ease off, slowing down the motorbike for fear of being accused of speeding.

As Kevin watched, the outline of a black and white police car, the shape of which had obviously been modelled on the Muscle family's masks, came into view, racing towards him at an unhealthy speed. Kevin slowed further to watch the car as it sped along, drawing level with him. The car passed Kevin at the other side of the makeshift road, and at first, Kevin thought no more of the matter.

"That woman was wearing a wedding dress," Kevin commented out loud. "And it was… Roxanne? And the front passenger was… The McMadd woman?"

In his shock, Kevin failed to notice the giant lump of rock on the road directly in front of him. The front wheel of the motorbike collided with the rock, and the back wheel of the motorbike was thrown upwards, launching Kevin forwards. In his desperation, Kevin reached his arms out in front of himself, trying to spread himself out as much as possible to absorb the impact of his inevitable crash landing.

Kevin groaned loudly as he eventually landed on the surface of the road, the momentum of his landing, combined with the layer of gravel littering the surface of the road, caused him to slide along the road for a short distance, only coming to a halt as the top of his head collided with a tree.

"Ow," Kevin groaned, reached a hand up to his head. "Oh well, at least this day cannot possibly get any worse now…"

Kevin pressed his hands against the ground to push himself up, only to fall straight back down as his head failed to lift from the ground. Kevin slowly slid his finger over the top of his masked head, growling in frustration as he felt the spike of his mask fully embedded within the trunk of the tree.

"I hate my life," he groaned.

* * *

"What if I piss myself?" Kid squeaked.

"You'll be fine, Kid!" Terry assured him.

"I dunno…"

Kid glanced around himself nervously, the silence of the hall making him even more nervous. He had managed to walk up the aisle without doing anything stupid, he had been joined by his best man, Terry Kenyon, and his usher, Wally Tusket; but now he was getting nervous waiting for the hall to settle down for the announcement of his bride's arrival.

Kid looked over his shoulder at the row of people behind him. At the end of the row was his father, smiling at him, and next to his father was his mother, her face buried in a giant tissue as she sobbed quietly. Next to Belinda sat Dik Dik Van Dik and his wife Sally, and next to them sat Checkmate, Brocken Junior and Jaeger. Next to Jaeger Mars was sitting with his legs crossed, a knowing smirk on his face.

The seat next to Mars was empty.

"Hey, what happened to Kevin Mask?" Kid asked Terry, turning back to face his best man.

"Who?" Terry asked.

"Kevin Mask," Kid repeated. "Did I invite Kevin to my wedding? I sure meant to. Wasn't there some really important reason why I had to invite him too?"

"Well I dunno," Terry replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Ah well, who cares?" Kid said, shrugging his shoulders. "It's not like Kevin likes people, anyway."

Terry and Wally nodded their agreement, but the sound of people rising from their seats and the organ at the end of the hall starting to play drew their attention to the door at the other end if the aisle.

"Roxanne…" Kid whispered, as he caught sight of Roxanne, enshrouded in white, being accompanied up the aisle by Meat.

"Trixie…" Terry whispered, as he spotted Trixie walking up the aisle behind Roxanne, holding up one half of the long train of Roxanne's dress.

"Kiki…" Mars whispered, as he Kiki smiled at him from her place at Trixie's side, holding up the other half of the train of Roxanne's dress.

"Jacqueline?!" Wally whispered, his eyes widening as he sighted Jacqueline McMadd slipping in the door and hurriedly taking a seat in the back row.

"Kevin?!" Jaeger yelped as he saw Kevin Mask hurrying in and sitting down in the last available seat, on the end of the back row, next to Jacqueline.

"Well big boy, you made it!" Jacqueline whispered.

"Oh crap!" Kevin cursed, abruptly standing up again.

"Where are you going?" Jacqueline hurriedly asked, leaping up at his side.

Kevin desperately surveyed the room, but to his dismay, the only other available seat was on the end of the front row, wedged between Mars and the wall, and in order to get to it, he would have to walk around Kid Muscle and his friends at the top of the aisle.

"Nowhere, by the looks of it," Kevin groaned, dropping back down into his seat as everyone else sat down for the start of the ceremony.

"Good boy," Jacqueline whispered, grabbing Kevin's thigh.

Kevin stiffened, his hand clawing at the air as he fought the urge to smack Jacqueline's hand away.

"And Kevin?" Jacqueline whispered. "Why do you smell of old vomit?"

Kevin grumbled to himself as the image of Jaeger vomiting into his mask back on Earth flashed through his mind.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony," the Kinniku priest at the top of the hall announced. "If anyone here has any reason why these two should not be wed, then may you speak now, or forever hold your piece."

The priest looked out across the silent hall expectantly, allowing those in attendance the opportunity to speak; but only one person had something to day.

"Ah-yah!" Kevin screamed from the back of the hall.

A wave of shuffling sounds washed over the hall as everyone turned in their seats to glower at Kevin. Jacqueline quickly snatched her hand back from him, smiling innocently. Kevin slowly sank lower in his seat as he felt the eyes of those around him burn into him.

"Do you have something to say back there?" the priest called out.

"No!" Kevin called back, holding up one hand. "My mistake!"

The priest frowned, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Alright then," he said tightly. "Without any further pointless interruptions, we shall continue."

Kevin groaned, sinking lower still in his seat. Surely, he thought to himself, that was the end of his horrible luck. Surely it was not in the least way possible for his day to get any worse in any way.

"Do you, Mantaro Kinniku, take Roxanne Nikaidou to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, through sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, so help you God?"

"I do," Kid answered, trying his best to talk calmly and clearly despite his mounting nerves.

Terry gave Kid a friendly nudge in the ribs, at which Kid turned sharply to him. Terry smiled, holding out Roxanne's ring towards him.

"Oh yeah!" Kid whispered. "Thanks Terry!"

Terry nodded, smiling again at Kid. With the ring in his hand, Kid turned back to Roxanne, who held out her hand towards him. Kid steadied his quivering hand long enough to slide the ring onto Roxanne's finger, smiling at her through her veil as he released her hand again.

"And you, Roxanne Nikaidou," the priest continued. "Do you take Mantaro Kinniku to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, through sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, so help you God?"

"I do," Roxanne answered breathlessly.

Terry handed Roxanne Kid's ring, which she took from him, sliding it onto Kid's finger.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," the priest declared. "You may kiss the bride."

"Sweet!" Kid said, grabbing up Roxanne's veil and tossing it back over his head.

"Thank God that's finally over!" Kevin grumbled as Kid pulled Roxanne into a kiss. "I'm out of here!"

"Where do you think you're going, Kevin Mask?" Jacqueline barked, grabbing the waistband of Kevin's trousers as he tried to walk away.

Kevin paused, a cold sweat breaking out over his body as Jacqueline's fingers moved around at the small of his back.

"Unless you want the biggest wedgie you've ever had, I suggest you sit back down, Kevin!" Jacqueline ordered as she took a firm grip of Kevin's boxer shorts.

"Fine by me!" he agreed, promptly sitting back down.

Jacqueline smirked at him as she released her hold, but Kevin continued to look straight ahead as Kid and Roxanne began to walk back down the aisle together.

"Everyone else is standing, Jacqueline," he pointed out.

"I told you to sit down!" Jacqueline snapped.

Kevin sighed in despair.

"Why do I have such horrible luck with women?" he groaned to himself.

Kevin watched as Kid and Roxanne walked past him, gazing at each other lovingly. Screwing up his face in disgust, Kevin tried his best to concentrate on the fact that he would soon be out of the hall, and free to be alone and in peace, just the way he liked to be.

Terry and Trixie passed him next, walking arm-in-arm behind the bride and groom, gazing at each other in the same manner Kid and Roxanne had been. Kevin's face twisted further, and he was again thankful for the protection of his mask, as it helped him to maintain his cool, calm, expressionless and emotionless aura.

Wally and Kiki passed Kevin last. Wally was watching those in front of him, but Kiki was scowling down at Kevin. Kevin felt his stomach twist in repressed anger. He really, really could not stand Kiki, but for the sake of his friendship with Mars, he was forced to endure the girl, no matter how much it pained him to do so. The fact that she lived in the Mask Estate with him only added a further layer of difficulty to their already tense relationship. Kevin stuck out his tongue at her, forgetting two very important facts when he did so: first of all, she was never going to see his gesture since he was still wearing his mask, and second of all, Jaeger had vomited into his mask, and although he had cleaned it, the smell, and apparently the taste, had not completely disappeared.

Kevin growled to himself as Kiki disappeared from his sight, standing up from his seat as people began to filter out of the hall. Kevin was relieved that Jacqueline did not manage to stop him from reaching the door, despite the fact that she was screaming after him and grabbing her hands through the air at his back.

"Kevin, are you okay?" Jaeger asked as he joined Kevin outside the hall.

"Fine," Kevin lied, glancing nervously over his shoulder as he stumbled down the steps outside.

Cameras flashed as people took photographs of the future king and queen of Muscle Planet. Roxanne continued to the bottom of the short staircase, where she held her bouquet up above her head.

"Are you ready, girls?" she called out, waving the flowers in the air.

Trixie, Kiki, Jacqueline and Dorothy shoved through the crowd to position themselves to catch Roxanne's bouquet. Kevin sighed in relief, glad that at last, Jacqueline's attention was suitably distracted from him.

"Hey guys," Mars sighed, joining Kevin and Jaeger by the bottom of the steps.

"Vot if Kiki catches ze flowers, Mars?" Jaeger asked him.

"Then Mars has to marry her!" Kevin sneered, pointing a finger at Mars and grinning to himself.

Mars shrugged his shoulders indifferently, and the reality of the situation finally dawned upon Kevin.

"Oh shit, Mars has to marry her!" he yelped.

The crowd began shouting as Roxanne threw her bouquet up into the air. Kevin, Mars and Jaeger watched the bunch of flowers fly up into the air, aiming itself in the direction of the four girls, Trixie, Kiki, Jacqueline and Dorothy. However, a sudden gust of wind, which appeared to come from nowhere, caught the flowers, whipping them off to one side. The girls cried out in disappointment as the flowers fell into the unsuspecting arms of someone standing off at the side.

Kevin slowly looked down at the bundle of yellow and pink roses resting in his arms, a sickening sensation washing over him. He slowly raised his head again, starting in alarm as a malicious grin manifested itself upon Jacqueline McMadd's face and she marched down the steps towards him.

"To hell with this!" he yelled, grabbing the bouquet in one hand and smacking it against Jaeger's chest.

Jaeger groaned in complaint, catching the flowers on instinct. Kevin then grabbed Jaeger's shoulders, spun him around and shoved him into Jacqueline, before turning around and fleeing from sight. Mars laughed as he watched his friend disappear, but Jacqueline was less than amused by Kevin's antics.

"What the–?" she roared. "How dare he?"

"I'm sorry," Jaeger quickly apologised to her. "Are you alright?"

Jacqueline slowly eyed Jaeger over, her angered expression melting away to be replaced by one of curiosity.

"Jaeger…" she said thoughtfully.

"Ja?" he asked. "You vant zhese?"

Jaeger held the flowers out towards Jacqueline, grinning sheepishly at her.

"No…" Jacqueline slowly replied, a smile creeping onto her face again. "You keep them. There's nothing sexier than a blonde man who wants to be a bride…"

Jaeger's grin widened and he let out a short, nervous laugh.

"Do you know, I think this could be the start of a beautiful friendship, Jaeger," Jacqueline whispered, pressing the fingernail of her index finger into the underneath of Jaeger's chin, pushing his head back.

"Rats!" Kiki cursed, skipping past Jacqueline and Jaeger to join Mars.

"What's up wid you, sweetheart?" he asked her.

"I was hoping Jacqueline would marry Kevin, and get him out of our lives!" Kiki sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Ah, don't worry about it," Mars assured her. "You look beautiful, sweetheart, I missed you."

"I missed you too!" Kiki said, taking Mars's hand in both of hers. "And you know, we nearly didn't make it here on time!"

"Really?" Mars asked. "Us too!"

"Ah well," Kiki said, shrugging her shoulders. "I guess all that's left now is the party. And then it's back to the boring old Mask Estate with boring old Kevin Mask!"

"Aw, come on, sweetheart, Kev ain't dat bad, is he?"

Kiki quirked an eyebrow at Mars, who merely laughed at her expression.

"Come on, let's go," he said, tugging at her hand. "I hear King Muscle's gotta new chef, and da food he makes is da best in da entire galaxy!"

"Coming from you, that doesn't exactly mean much!" Kiki sarcastically replied.

"Hey! What's dat supposed to mean?" Mars complained.

"Only that you're like the least fussy eater ever born!" Kiki drawled.

"Hey, watch it!" Mars warned. "You keep dat up and I'll tell Kev dat you wanna make amends wid him!"

"You wouldn't!"

Mars laughed, and Kiki forced a smile, silently hoping that Mars was only joking with his threat; it certainly would not be the first time that he had made her have to endure Kevin Mask unnecessarily.

"Hey, where did Kev get to, anyways?" Mars asked, frowning as he looked around himself for any trace of his friend.

"Hopefully somewhere very, very far away…" Kiki grumbled under her breath.

"Ah, who cares?" Mars continued, having not heard Kiki's last remark. "Kev doesn't like food anyways. All dat fancy cuisine would just be wasted on a guy like him. Let's go!"

* * *

 **Next Chapter:** With Kid and Roxanne officially husband and wife, all that's left is the party to celebrate their union. Things seem to be going smoothly after the bride and groom's previous disasters, but the evening takes a turn for the worse when Robin Mask says something very stupid… **Chapter 4 – The Reception**.


	4. The Reception

**Recap:** Roxanne and Kid made it to the wedding ceremony at last and they finally said "I do", Jaeger finally found love and Kevin had an awful headache.

* * *

 **Chapter 4 – The Reception**

Kevin watched on dully as Mars happily stabbed a fork across the table at the contents of Kevin's plate, stuffing the food into his mouth faster than he could chew it.

"Are you sure you don't want dis, Kev?" he asked as he continued to shovel Kevin's food from his plate.

"Please, be my guest," Kevin replied with a sigh.

"What's da matter wid you?" Mars asked between munches. "Don't you never get hungry?"

"Not really," Kevin lied.

Robin Mask had always restricted Kevin's food supplies following on from his mother's death, drilling into his son's head the notion that food and hunger were weaknesses, sinful pleasures that distracted a Chojin warrior from the truer purpose of training and fighting. And during Kevin's time on the streets of London, food had been so hard to come by, he had often gone days without eating anything of consequence. The result was that Kevin only ever ate out of necessity, and he never got any pleasure out of doing so.

Mars, on the other hand, lived a life of indulgence, just as he always had. He never denied himself anything that brought him any pleasure, least of all food and women. Kevin felt his face twist involuntarily as he watched Mars's bulging cheeks as he tried to chew his way through Kevin's food, making little pleased noises in the back of his throat as he ate.

"Dis food is da best ever, Kev, you really oughta try some!" Mars added, scraping the remains of Kevin's meal from his plate.

"Yes," Kevin flatly replied, looking down at his empty plate.

Enjoying food, especially such rich food, was just a weakness, Kevin silently reminded himself. He briefly wondered why he was swallowing so frequently, his mouth seemed to be producing too much saliva, and the smell of the food around him was only aggravating the situation. Still, Kevin thought, at least it was a welcome distraction from the odd croaking noises that had been emanating from his stomach for the last hour.

"Hey, look on da bright side, Kev!" Mars said cheerfully.

"The bright side?" Kevin echoed sarcastically. "I wasn't aware that there was one."

"Sure dere is!" Mars encouraged. "You got rid of Jacqueline McMadd!"

Mars held a hand out in the direction of the table Jacqueline was sat at. Kevin recoiled in disgust as he saw that Jacqueline was not alone, and was in fact acting in a manner he deemed highly inappropriate in such a crowded room. Jacqueline was sat with her legs spread, one booted foot on the floor, the other resting on the small of Jaeger's back. Jaeger, who was on all fours on the floor directly in front of Jacqueline, was gazing up at Jacqueline dreamily as she fed him scraps from her plate as if he were a pet dog.

"What is wrong with these people?" Kevin grumbled. "I mean really? Doesn't it just make you sick to your stomach, Mars?"

Kevin waited for Mars to answer, but all he could hear was Mars's pleasured little moans and the sound of him chewing on yet more food.

"Mars?" he said sharply, turning to face Mars. "Oh for the love of…"

Kevin growled as he saw that Kiki had joined them, and was sitting astride Mars, feeding him off a fork. Kevin stood up, shaking his head as he grumbled and muttered curses under his breath. He kicked his chair back under the table behind himself before marching off. Although he had no idea where he was going next, Kevin did not particularly care. Just so long as he got away from sickening, lovesick couples, he did not care where he was.

Kevin eventually stopped by the buffet table at the back of the room, deciding that he was safe there, at least.

"You look so hot in a tux, Terry!" a voice floated up to his ears from under the table.

"And you look about good enough to eat in that there frock, Trixie."

"Why does crap like this keep on happening to me?" Kevin groaned. "Hoi!"

Kevin bent over, lifting up the tablecloth to reveal Terry Kenyon and Trixie, lying on the floor beneath the table, their bodies intertwined and their clothes and hair suitably dishevelled.

"Get a room!" Kevin yelled at them.

"Get a life!" Trixie yelled back at him, yanking the tablecloth out of his grasp.

Kevin watched the tablecloth drop back down, slowly straightening indignantly.

"He is such a loser!" he heard Trixie whisper to Terry.

"Hush Trixie, it ain't poor ol' Kevin's fault that he's got erection problems!" Terry replied.

Kevin gasped in silent horror as Trixie giggled.

"It's not funny, Trixie," Terry scolded her. "Poor Kevin won't ever get himself a girl!"

"Yeah, but that's because no girl would want him!" Trixie laughed.

Kevin decided that he had been insulted enough and turned towards the bar, dragging his feet as he made his way towards it. Kevin dropped himself onto a barstool, resting his elbows on the surface of the bar and relaxing his shoulders. He touched a hand to the side of his mask again glad that at least the pains in his head were easing off.

"I love you so much, Kid Muscle!"

"What?" Kevin grumbled, looking up.

"I love you so much more, Roxanne!" Kid drooled, inadvertently swinging his elbow back into Kevin's shoulder.

"You looked so nervous when you said "I do"," Roxanne said dreamily, as the both the bride and groom failed to even notice Kevin's presence.

"I was nervous, I didn't wanna mess it up, I love you so much!" Kid whimpered.

"It was so cute, I wanted to just…" Roxanne began. "To just kiss you!"

Roxanne grabbed Kid, pouncing towards him and kissing him hard through his mask. Kevin cleared his throat awkwardly, but both failed to respond, and so he quietly slid from his stool and walked on.

"Bloody idiots are everywhere tonight…" Kevin grumbled.

Kevin staggered back as two figures suddenly stumbled across his path. Scowling in disgust, Kevin watched as Dik Dik Van Dik and his wife swung each other around in a silly dance of fools in love, laughing as they jumped around aimlessly.

Kevin sighed, feeling suddenly very alone. He remained still for a moment, the sensation overwhelming him. He had never felt lonely before, he had always sought solitude and resisted forging relationships with anyone; but lately, just lately, Kevin had truly felt the depth of his loneliness. The desire to share his thoughts, feelings, and even his life, with someone was beginning to eat away at his sanity. Kevin knew only too well that these feelings had been brought about after Lord Flash had revealed himself to be Warsman. Kevin had trusted Lord Flash, and had forged a strong bond with him, only to have it severed in the most ungracious of manners.

Of course, Kevin was inwardly ecstatic that Mars was back in his life. Mars had always been a fun and interesting friend to have, but Mars was devoted to Kiki, and usually wherever Mars went, Kiki followed at his heels, making it difficult for Kevin to really talk to Mars one-on-one.

And the more time Kevin spent dwelling on the matter of his loneliness, the more his mind kept returning to the demons of his past, the unresolved issues that still haunted him.

Shaking his head, Kevin marched onwards, his head down, trying his best to concentrate on something else – anything else – other than the thoughts that tormented him during the long sleepless nights he often suffered from. With his head down, Kevin failed to notice someone idly backing into his path, walking square into the other person's shoulder and staggering back from the impact before he fully awoke from his reverie.

"Why don't you watch where you're…" Kevin began, his voice trailing off as he realised just who it was that he had walked into. "Going…" he finished weakly.

Kevin suddenly felt very stupid, and he suddenly realised that, despite what he may have thought just moments ago, his day could get worse than it had already been, and apparently it was about to do just that. Kevin slowly ran his eyes over the figure in front of him, standing indignantly with a tray of sandwiches in one hand, the other hand rested on a hip.

"I'm…" Kevin muttered, before clearing his throat awkwardly. "I'm sorry."

"You've done it before," came the flat reply.

Kevin felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He was again glad for his mask, which was hiding the fact that his face had gone from being the ghostly white colour it had been when he had first realised just who stood before him to a burning red of shame and embarrassment.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Kevin asked, trying his best to recover some of his dignity.

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here?"

"Me?" Kevin squeaked. "I'm the Chojin Crown Champion, remember?"

"And?"

"And…"

Kevin paused as he realised that just being the reigning Chojin Crown Champion was not reason enough in itself to be invited to Kid Muscle's wedding.

"Maybe we could talk?"

Kevin's head snapped up, his eyes locking onto the figure before him. Talking sounded good to him right then. He nodded his head in agreement, taking the tray of sandwiches from the person before him.

"Have you tried them?"

Kevin frowned down at the tray curiously upon that question, the scent of the food wafting through the vents of his mask and to his nostrils. Kevin found himself fighting back excess saliva again, and again he inwardly cursed himself for such weakness.

"This sort of food is a bit too rich for me," he said decisively. "I don't really enjoy food, anyway."

"You'll offend the chef with talk like that."

"The chef?" Kevin spat. "A mere ponce in a white hat? Who cares what the chef thinks? The chef is no doubt just another Kinniku idiot!"

A soft chuckle informed Kevin that his genuinely damning statement had been taken as nothing more than a wisecrack, which angered him more than he cared to admit.

"Have you tried them?" Kevin asked, waving the tray at the person before him.

"They're actually very good."

"What?"

Kevin held the tray at his chest with both hands, his head visibly tilted to one side in confusion.

"I think we should talk."

"So do I," Kevin agreed.

Kevin placed the tray down on a nearby table and followed on, allowing the person to lead him to a table by the back corner of the room, where they both sat down, facing each other.

"I've done you wrong, Kevin."

"You're damn right you have!" Kevin retorted, thumping a fist onto the table.

Kevin promptly regretted his action; he really was quite keen to hear the rest of the story, a story he had waited many years to hear, and he would need to keep his patience in check. He cleared his throat awkwardly, shifting his hands under the table to rest on his thighs.

"I'm sorry, please continue," he said quietly.

"I know you can't forgive me, and I know you can't forget, but maybe we could try again?"

Kevin slowly nodded his head.

"I'd like that, actually," he said slowly.

"You would?"

"Yes, I'd like it very much. I know that we have had our difficulties in the past, but I think that rather a lot has happened since then, and we are both changed people. We've grown and we've learned, and I think the bitter arguments and disagreements of the past should now be put behind us. But don't think that this in any way means that I want you in my life. This is merely a truce."

"Fine by me, shon."

Robin Mask extended a hand across the table to Kevin. Kevin hesitated to respond, glancing between his father's hand and his father's crimson eyes, glowing out from behind his mask.

"Fine," he eventually said, slapping his hand against his father's.

"All that bickering wash beneath ush, Kevin," Robin said as he shook Kevin's hand.

"I quite agree," Kevin said with a nod of his head.

"Now you really musht try the food," Robin insisted. "I'm thinking of kidnapping the chef for myshelf!"

"That good?" Kevin asked.

"That good!" Robin confirmed.

Kevin's interest was peaked; before the great Sir Robin Mask said that the food was good, and that his eldest son was actually allowed to eat it, it must be good. Kevin slowly pushed back his chair, rising to his feet. He turned around to scan the buffet table, his eyes suddenly becoming larger than his stomach as he found himself not so much struggling to decide what to eat, as struggling to fight the urge to eat every single thing that lay before him.

"Go on," Robin encouraged.

Kevin slowly walked over to the table, followed closely by Robin. As he reached the table, his hand hovered over several dishes as he tried to decide where to start.

"Ha, you gave in to temptation, huh Kev?" Mars laughed, grabbing up a giant chicken leg.

Kevin watched as Mars shamelessly tore the meat from the bone, grease dripping down from the corners of his mouth as he chewed.

"It's good, Kev!" he said, winking at Kevin.

"You say that about everything, Mars," Kevin said with a sigh. "You have an insatiable appetite. You would eat anything."

"But dis really is extra good, Kev!" Mars assured him.

"I could serve you a plate of horse shit and you would say that it tasted good, you have a lead-lined stomach with an endless capacity," Kevin shortly replied.

"Hey, dat ain't very nice, Kev!" Mars said, waving the stripped bone at Kevin.

"And don't talk with your mouth full!" Kevin added.

"Ah shut-up and eat somethin'!"

"I think I will!"

Kevin opened the catch of his mask, lifting it off of his head and placing it down on the edge of the table. Arching his eyebrows at Mars, Kevin picked up a chicken leg. Mars copied his action, smiling at him. Robin Mask removed his own mask, placing it down next to Kevin's, and helped himself to a chicken leg too.

"Here's to good times for da Muscle League!" Mars said, winking at Kevin.

Kevin nodded his agreement, and all three men bit into their food. Kevin chewed at his food slowly at first, his hunger quickly consuming his senses. Mars chuckled as he watched Kevin ravenously devour the chicken leg, before tossing down the bone and grabbing up a sandwich.

"Bloody hell!" Kevin said through a mouthful of sandwich. "This food! It's… It's…"

"Better than anything I've ever had," Robin Mask said.

"Yeah, dose Kinnikus sure know how to do food," Mars agreed. "Even da cow and rice is edible!"

"It's so good!" Kevin said, before shoving the remains of the sandwich, and most of his hand, into his mouth.

"Slow down Kev, you'll get indigestion," Mars advised.

"But this food is so good!" Kevin cried, grabbing up a slice of pizza. "I just can't get enough of it! It's orgasmically good, I could just… Explode! I never knew eating could feel this good!"

Mars slowly placed down the sandwich he had been about to eat, sweatdropping as he watched Kevin fold the slice of pizza over three times and stuff it into his mouth all at once, consequently struggling to chew it.

"Calm down Kev, it's just food," Mars flatly said.

"I love the Kinniku chef!" Kevin cried.

"Alright, but say it, don't spray it," Mars said, wiping a hand across his cheek. "You got anchovies on my face."

"I'm going to talk to thish chef," Robin said decisively. "I'm pretty sure I could convinsh him to come back to Wreshtle Planet with me. He could be the official chef for the Herculesh Factory."

"Bugger that!" Kevin snarled, grabbing up another chicken leg. "You can't have him, he's going to come back to Earth with me, and be the official chef for the Mask Estate!"

"Hey, dat sure sounds good to me!" Mars said, smiling brightly.

Robin smiled as he watched his son shamelessly eat his way through a large portion of the food on the buffet table.

"I'm glad we could put our problemsh behind ush, shon," he said. "There'sh nothing worsh than a having a shon who ish bitter and full of hate, looking to fight the Mushcle League all the time."

Kevin stiffened, swallowing the contents of his mouth, his hand that held the half-eaten chicken leg slowly lowering away from his face.

"A son who is bitter and full of hate, looking to fight the Muscle League?" Kevin slowly repeated.

"But not any more!" Robin said brightly.

Kevin found himself smiling as a crashing sound resounded overhead. As those within the hall screamed and ran for cover, Kevin remained perfectly calm. For some strange and inexplicable reason, it just seemed like the sort of ending that he had expected after the miserable day that he had just endured.

The glass section of the roof cracked open, giant sheets of glass falling to the ground below and shattering into millions of tiny, lethal blades of glass that flew outwards from the point of impact. Dark shapes buzzed downwards from the hole in the ceiling, crashing through tables and chairs and disappearing from sight. The lights in the hall went out, leaving only the stars outside and the half moon that hung in the night sky to light the room.

Screams rose in volume as swift feet darted around the room, dark shapes moving through the cover of darkness.

"Lights!" a voice yelled.

The lights came back on again, and everyone turned to the upturned and broken tables at the crash site expectantly.

"Good evening everyone!" a voice declared as a figure in black leapt up onto one of the tables that had remained in tact. "For the benefit of those of you who don't have the pleasure of knowing who I am, allow me to now introduce myself! My name is Edward! Edward Mask!"

The man reached up with both hands and threw back the hood of his long black robe, revealing a black mask similar in style to the masks that Kevin and Robin Mask both wore. Set behind his gleaming charcoal iron mask were a pair of glowing emerald green eyes, and short tufts of auburn hair protruded from the sides of his mask. He looked to be about as tall as Kevin Mask, but he was not so well-built as Kevin; although the robe he wore hid his true figure.

"I am the son of Robin Mask!" Edward continued, pointing a hand at the maskless Robin. "And the younger brother of Kevin Mask!"

Edward shifted his finger to point at Kevin, who was still smirking, causing people to hiss and mutter curses at him.

"And I am the undisputed leader of the DMP!"

Edward whipped open his robe, revealing his outfit which consisted of a pair of large black boots, tight and heavily worn blue jeans and a ragged and torn black DMP T-shirt. The crowd watching him gasped in awe, a ripple of whispered chatter spreading amongst them.

"And I've come here to Muscle Planet tonight because I hate my father!" Edward declared, drawing silence from the hall once more. "I thought that since this is a wedding reception, why not turn into the reception party for the new DMP! And I've also come here to challenge the Muscle League losers to a fight!"

"And why does that not surprise me?" Kevin muttered under his breath.

"Don't worry Kev, dere's only six of 'em, remember?" Mars whispered to Kevin. "Dat's Kid Muscle, Terry Kenyon, Dik Dik Van Dik, Wally Tusket, Checkmate and Jaeger against all of Da Anarchists."

"I haven't come here alone!" Edward continued. "I have come with my band of men, my fellow DMP Devil Chojins! You can call us The Anarchists! Because, unlike my worthless, miserable old father who worships the queen of England and the state of monarchy, we detest it!"

Robin sighed, shaking his head in despair; but Kevin was still smiling.

"Behold, I am the leader of The Anarchists, Edward Mask!" Edward shouted. "And by my side I have Anarchist F!"

Another black robed figure leapt up onto the table next to Edward, his features entirely hidden from view beneath his hooded black robe.

"Dat would be Fargo," Mars muttered to Kevin.

"Anarchist M!" Edward shouted, as another obscured black figure leapt up beside him.

"Dat would be–" Mars began.

"Yes, I know," Kevin interrupted him.

"Anarchist D!" Edward shouted.

"One of the new ones," Kevin sighed in a disinterested tone.

"Anarchist W!" Edward yelled.

"Anarchist Wanker, more like," Kevin grumbled.

"Anarchist S!" Edward shouted.

"Dat's all six!" Mars said.

"Not quite, scarface!" Edward snapped.

Mars started in alarm on three accounts; firstly he had not expected Edward to be able to hear him from such a distance, secondly he had not been called "scarface" for quite some time, and took exception to the deeply personal insult, and thirdly just what was Edward talking about?

"Things have changed since you last paid us a visit at HQ, scarface!" Edward snarled. "I've recruited two new Anarchists! Scarface, Muscle Leaguers, guests, say hello to the newest members of the DMP, Anarchist R and Anarchist H!"

"What da fuck?" Mars muttered.

"You may well look surprised, scarface," Edward sneered as his two newest members joined him on the table. "And now for my little party trick, since this is, after all, a party. Anarchist F and Anarchist W, show these people what we found…"

Two of the hooded figures dropped down behind the debris, resurfacing moments later with two women each, all of who were bound and gagged.

"Kiki!" Mars wailed, starting towards The Anarchists.

"Roxanne!" Kid screamed.

"Trixie!" Terry cried.

"Jack!" Jaeger wailed.

Mars, Kid Muscle, Terry Kenyon and Jaeger all started to run towards the women they loved, extremely angered by The Anarchists' choice of hostages.

"Not so fast!" Edward yelled, holding up a hand to indicate that they should stop.

The two Anarchists holding the girls flicked the sleeves of their robes up the arms, revealing that their hands bore vicious, sharp claws. The two Anarchists curled their fingers at the girls' throats, the threat being enough to cause all four approaching Justice Chojins to skid to an abrupt halt.

"You so much as touch one hair on my sweetheart's head, and I'ma kill you, you son of a bitch!" Mars roared, pointing at Edward.

"Are you calling my mother a bitch, scarface?" Edward asked slyly, shifting his eyes to Robin and Kevin Mask.

"You can't do this to Roxanne!" Kid begged. "We only just got married! How am I supposed to have my wedding night without my bride?"

"Keep your tackle in your pants, pigboy!" Edward retorted.

"Those girls didn't never do nothin' to nobody, so just let 'em be!" Terry yelled. "If it's a fight you want, then that's fine by us, we'll gladly fight y'all! But let the girls go, they're innocent!"

"No can do, you red-necked, buck-toothed yokel," Edward spat.

"Surely we can talk about thish," Robin Mask began, walking towards The Anarchists, having successfully put his mask back on.

"Talk?" Edward scoffed. "To you? I'd rather die! It's too late for talk now, father! Where were you when I was a little boy, and I needed you the most, eh? I hate you, and this is all your fault! Remember that! And if you losers ever want to see any of these bitches ever again, you're going to have to agree to our demands! We're going back to Earth, we await your response there!"

"Kiki!" Mars yelled, running at The Anarchists again.

Edward grabbed something out of the pocket of his robe, throwing it at Mars. Mars skidded to a halt, frowning as the small object landed several feet in front of him.

"Ha, you still throw like a girl, Eddie!" he laughed.

"Oh, I beg to differ. This time, the joke is on you, scarface!" Edward replied. "Until we meet again!"

The small object on the ground suddenly burst open, releasing a thick, dark smoke. Mars sniffed at the air frowning for a brief moment before collapsing to the ground in an unconscious heap. Edward laughed, striking a match and lighting a makeshift torch one of his friends had made for him from a tablecloth wrapped around a table leg. As Edward threw the torch into the bar, where it erupted into a wall of flame, fuelled on by the alcohol, Kevin turned to his father, who was running back to join him, to take refuge from the sleeping gas.

""There'sh nothing worsh than a having a shon who ish bitter and full of hate, looking to fight the Mushcle League all the time"," Kevin sneered at Robin, mocking his father's voice to perfection. "You just had to open your big mouth, didn't you? And I suppose you know what this means now, don't you? It means that I now have to participate in yet another bloody stupid and pointless tournament centred around Kid Muscle and Mars!"

 **The End**

* * *

Suddenly, you can all see why I had to write _Bad Boys_! The ending of this fic came to me long before I ever thought about writing a prequel, but I decided that this ending would only work well if I gave a little background on Edward Mask.

And so ends another Lucretia D fic. I'm still wary about continuing, as the sequel to this one is, needless to say, packed with OCs. Hell, I have The Anarchists to invent for a start! Although only Edward Mask is a main character, I still feel wrong writing about so many OCs. I may just post the first three chapters of the sequel, and if reviews are bad, I'll stop. Otherwise, there will be a 30ish chapter sequel (around 120K words) which will, not surprisingly, focus around Kevin Mask – so expect a truckload of Kevin-bashing and a healthy dollop of Briticisms!

And, as always, please review. Comments, good or bad, help me greatly. TTFN.


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